8708/21627
I don't feel so bad for stealing a bag from Sainsburys now. Yesterday I popped in and bought a few things. Yes I stole another bag, what of it? One of the things was a four pack of tinned tomatoes. I checked out on the self-service machines, but when I put the tomatoes down on the weighing bit it wouldn't let me carry on as it wanted the correct item in the bagging area. But I had put the correct item in. You stupid idiot machine.
Someone came over and put in their code so I could continue, but the machine kept complaining and I had to be rescued three of four times.
I was wrong to blame the machines and I know they read this now and I want to say that I for one welcome our AI overlords. Because this morning I put the tins away in the cupboard. I had to remove them from their cardboard sleeve and in doing so I realised one of the tins was much lighter than the other three. It felt like there was something in there, but it wasn't a full tin of lovely chopped tomatoes.
Could I be arsed to take it back, or should we just call it square, with the two stolen bags?
Also I was interested to see what was in the weird, much too light tin. I opened it up and there was just a horrible bit of rotten black something at the bottom of the tin. I didn't want to look too closely and threw it in the bin before its evil tendrils could reach me. It might have been a very rotten bit of tomato (but where was the rest of the tomato) or it might have been a creature that had got into a tin of tomatoes, eaten the tomatoes and then died. Catie was cross that I'd opened the tin at all. What if it was full of plague (my guess, not hers) so I took it out of the kitchen bin and put it in the outside bin. But holding it gingerly and not wanting to look inside. Maybe it was best that I didn't know what I had unleashed.
The other three tins felt like they were regular weight and were almost certainly unaffected. But it hung in my mind all day and later I threw them all away too, lest they were heavy with the corpses of tomato rats.
And now the tin was open (and in a big bin) there was no way I was taking it back to the supermarket. They would have had to believe me when the tin was closed, but now it was open anything could have happened.
