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Today I spent most of my time struggling to think of anything to write about for yesterday's blog. I think tomorrow I shall probably be doing the same about today. In fact I know I will, because it's tomorrow now and I can't think of anything to write about.
Both days have been packed full of stuff - I am exhausted from parenting, exercising, trying to think of funny things and largely failing and rehearsing for the play.
Today I played tennis for the first time in about a month (and weirdly played better than usual despite the lack of practice), rehearsed the play for the rest of the morning, went into town to buy Mother's Day gifts for someone who isn't even my mother (though she is the mother to my kids so I guess I am committed), then dashed home to record a Newsround, before going to pick up the kids, watch Phoebe play for the school team (an impressive 4-1 win), then came home for dinner and then took Phoebe to football practice for her other team.
Christ knows how kids have the energy to play two hours of a sport in four hours and still be bouncing around as if nothing has happened. I was still unrecovered from 45 minutes of tennis by the end of the day.
Perhaps it's more impressive that a 58 year old man managed to do all this stuff (even if he had to go to be at 9pm). Nothing worth writing a blog about had happened though. I know that hasn't stopped me before. I can only work with the material I am given and since becoming a dad, I am sure you have noticed, the blogs have got pretty thin. But that's 12 good years to the 11 boring ones.
Luckily during Phoebe's football practice I also did a quick supermarket shop as we'd run out of Soleros. And then I KNEW I had a story.
In my youth Friday evening was when everyone went to the supermarket - though looking back it wasn't so super. We'd go to the pretty tiny Gateways in Cheddar town centre (the only thing of note that happened there in the ten years I lived in the place was that I twice bought packs of Trios where every bar had no biscuit in it and it was a much more pleasant snack. What a wondrous miracle that I got to experience it twice when most people never even got one shot). In Hitchin in 2026 Friday nights are not supermarket nights. The car park was pretty empty (it was just after 7pm) and I got a pretty clear run at my supermarket sweep.
It did mean that not everything was fully stocked. I got to the Solero freezer to discover it was pretty empty of Exotic Soleros. There were maybe two decent looking ones (not enough for a week, especially as Phoebe has started eating one a day too - I couldn't be more pride). There was another box where the bottom was ripped open and at the bottom of the fridge a couple of boxes which were a bit icy, but tellingly were also of the old design. How long had they been there? The new design has been out for at least a year. Had those two been sitting at the bottom of the freezer all that time. How very unWaitrose. I didn't risk it.
Ian Solero has literally gone insane coming up with new Solero products. His real job should be specialising in Exotic Soleros alone and shutting down production of the Berry one. The Orange one, as discussed previously is a pointless addition to the range so I'd get rid of that too if I was him. Not only is there Solero ice cream now, but there was also boxes of mini Soleros. I would have bought them to make up for the short fall, but they were half Berry ones. When will you learn Ian Solero? No one likes those.
Also though there was another new innovation, Solero Bon Bons in Exotic and new Strawberry Twist flavour. I hadn't yet seen one of the fabled Strawberry Soleros. At least they aren't orange coloured, so that's a step forward for new flavours. I had to buy them. Even though ironically each bite has as many calories as a whole Solero.
There's no real explanation of what they are on the tub, but I think the outside is probably some kind of chocolate style confection (a bit like the Pink Panther bar for the pink one) and the inside is Solero. They are too sweet and not sure about the strawberry flavour. Also you might as well just eat a whole Solero.
I beg you Ian Solero. Just make Exotic Soleros and stop diversifying, and just ensure that all supermarket freezers are full of proper Soleros that were made in this decade. You have created perfection, just keep churning that crap out and stop trying to better the unbetterable.
I think you'll agree though that I had found a fit subject for my blog at least. My life is still pretty interesting. My Friday nights may not be fulled with Duo Trios any more, but I still know how to have a good time.
I managed to find the big news story for today's Newsround whilst the lamestream media continued in its obsession with nonces and war. 2000 year old faeces is what the people want. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ggj8RnhT3bw&t=3s
Your kids will love this book - it's properly funny and properly serious and if Catie can sell enough copies then I can give up comedy. Or give up trying to do comedy.
Buy it here.
