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Warming Up
Sunday 20th February 2005

The Hercules run in Hammersmith came to an end this evening. The second week audiences definitely picked up a bit and I think the word of mouth was good, so it's a shame in a way that I'm not doing a third week. But in another way I am delighted as it's been a very knackering show to do (seemingly getting longer every night). It was great to get a chance to do this show properly in the way that I envisagened it (although I could still do longer to be honest) and the only downside is that outside of the few hundred that braved it down to Hammersmith I don't think anyone is going to know what a good show it actually was.

Yet in a sense that is appropriate for this strange and cathartic enterprise and whatever does not kill me makes me stronger. My general performance and confidence continues to improve and I continue to feel a slight bubble of excitement in my stomach about what my next show will be. I'm hoping it's going to be something special. Whatever it will be, it wouldn't be it if I hadn't done this Hercules nonsense.

There are still a few gigs to go (Birmingham and Wimbourne in the coming week, though the latter of these isn't really selling, so if you know anyone in Dorset do get them to go along, or Wimbourne may find itself in the same mess as Carlisle) and if I get time I am still going to attempt to write it all up for a book, so it's not over over, if you catch my drift.

My favourite bit of the show, which is not something that is necessarily going to come across in print form, so look away if easily offended, was how my description of what would improve Argos's reputation got more involved and sick every night. For those of you who missed the fun, here is approximately what I said tonight, "So I rang the Argos PR department to ask for permission and they asked if I could send them some information on the show to see if it was something that they wanted their name associated with.... As if the Argos brand name is something so classy that there is anything I could do to make it any worse. I think I could write the name "Argos" on the face of a dead baby.... in biro.... and at certain points the tip of the biro has gone through the baby's skin, so there's little bits of red amongst the black ink. Then I could put that baby in a gutter and cover it with dirt and leaves and old crisp packets... and used johnnies.... and people would look at the baby, they'd see it there and they'd think.... "You know what, that's slightly raised my estimation of Argos.""

Tonight I apologised afterwards, saying the johnnies bit was taking it too far. But the audience could tell from my delighted laughter that I did not really think it was.

As you'll know with me by now, it is always most pleasurable for me to push things much too far and to say terrible things, especially on a way to making a point. Which I think this does beautifully. In fact as it's a new gag I was trying to think of a way of putting it in my new show, but it works so perfectly with this situation and the reputation of Argos that is hard to see how it could be recycled.

I look forward to the three emails I'll get from people who have missed the point and I admit that it does work better in the intimacy of performance (and indeed with it coming out of the mouth of someone with my persona), but I thought I'd share it anyway.

Thanks to all those of you who made it down to Hammersmith for these gigs and thanks also for all the positive feedback. Thanks also to Simon (not that one) and Nathalie who teched for me and all the Riverside staff.

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