More unpleasant cyst news if you want to look away.
Finally the cyst gave way today. Or at least most of it. It wasn't an easy birth and things aren't quite over yet, but most of it has gone. It failed to coagulate into human form which was upsetting. It's always sad when a pus baby dies.
It was slow and painful, yet weirdly satisfying and I envied my girlfriend who had to help me through this difficult time (did she imagine that when she agreed to go out of me she'd have to do this - is this truly what love is?). But whatever was coming out was causing her an awful lot of glee amongst the disgust. And I couldn't see it. Goddamn!
It went on for such a long time that I had to finally stop the whole process and leave the cyst at a quarter of its former glory. The war isn't over, but victory is, I think assured. Ooo-eee. Hopefully that's the end of the reports.
All I can tell those of you who think regular infected cysts don't smell nice is "Get yourself a sebaceous one, my friends." This one smelt a bit off, but was nothing compared to the stench of death that came out of the old one. I am glad my sister didn't have to see this. She would only have been disappointed that it wasn't disgusting enough!
And the experience has brought me and my girlfriend closer. Just hope she doesn't start getting into the whole shitblister thing (I told you not to look it up).
The man in front of me at the supermarket today was buying ten jars of Nutella and two jars of low calorie Dolmio pasta sauce. And nothing else. What the Hell did he have planned? How come the check out lady said nothing to him, when
nine yoghurts seems to be enough to cause consternation to most check out ladies. I really wanted to know what the fuck he was up to. What were his plans for the evening? It is impossible to guess. Why didn't she ask? Or at least openly mock him? I hope his 2010 show "Someone like Nutella and to a lesser extent Dolmio pasta sauce and Nothing Else!" goes well.
Three people at tonight's show at King's Place - an amazing venue near Kings Cross that I had never heard of before, which had a satisfyingly large number of people in the audience - had "Who is Virgilio Anderson?" T shirts. I talked to them all. They all talked to each other. I am hoping they will all marry each other. Virgilio Anderson is still bringing people together, even though he has now disappeared into the ether from whence he emerged. I miss him.
If you're out there Virgilio. I love you.
And exciting news for those of you without a Virgilio Anderson. Go Faster Stripe are doing another limited run, but if you want one then you'll have to order straight away as they're only up for a day.
Click here right now to order yours.
The show is getting properly good now. With still around a dozen previews to come. Once you get three quarters of the way there these shows become really good fun to perform. I massively enjoyed it tonight. It's actually nine minutes too long now, and it's going to be quite hard to work out what to cut. The next two weeks should bring it together nicely. Hope you can make it along. This might just be the best one yet. Book ahead dudes.
I have started calling everyone "dude". I don't know why. The other day I called a man in his seventies "dude". I am quite proud of that. It's so out of date that it's cool again.
If you missed me on 5Live last week you can (probably illegally)
download it here.
Blah blah blah. See you around.
