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Saturday 20th June 2009

Virgilio Anderson has not yet been in touch to explain his motives or motivation for stealing my name for his facebook page. I am starting to wonder if richardherring means something else in Macedonian. Which would be ironic as I am currently doing a routine about the people called Mr Cunto and Dr Wank in the West London phone book 1990 (which I wrote and which is generally acknowledged as one of the finest crafted phone books of all time, but I was young then and my ideas came thick and fast).
However, some concerned parties and Real Richard Herring spies have befriended Virgilio Anderson in an attempt to find out what the fuck is going on. So far he has not responded to any of them, but Paul Sheppard, who confusingly has the facebook page, huhtupuhD-DOTwuhwuhwuhDOTfacebookDOTcomFLASHvirgilioanderson (listen to the last podcast if that makes no sense to you) has at least sent me the list of the false Richard Herring, but real Virgilio Anderson's interests. Here it is
"Interests: Investing, Wood Working, Gardening, Photography, Crafts (General)
Favourite Films: Drama, Thrillers, Other
Favourite Books: Non-Fiction, Fiction, Other, Poetry
About me: I've been described as mature, responsible and patient guy. I'm a really easy person to get a long with. Head games are totally not my thing. I'm currently studying architecture. I'm very fond of uniquely constructed buildings. I also like walking in the rain and hearing the raindrops hitting the sidewalk. Message me if you'd like to talk.
Political Views: Very Liberal"

He is clearly a multi-layered and complicated individual, who likes Fiction, Non-Fiction and Other books (books which are neither true or made up - I'd love to see some of those). Unlike me he has been described as mature, though does that make him mature? We need more information on whoever described him as that. Perhaps they were being sarcastic. He is easy to get a long with. A long what though? Head games, he claims are totally not his thing, but then why has he stolen my name and then refused to explain why he's done it. Head games are entirely his thing. He's out in the rain now, somewhere in Macedonia, listening to the raindrops hitting the sidewalk and laughing to himself about the level of paranoia and confusion that he has created in my head.
Do you think he really likes walking in the rain and listening to the rain drops hitting the side walk, or is just saying that to sound romantic for all the girls or boys that he is hoping will message him? Because I think that that might be a fun thing to do once, but if he's constantly out in the rain, enjoying the sound of raindrops hitting the sidewalk then wouldn't that start to get a bit weird after a while. Especially if he made you come out and walk with him the whole time and then every time you tried to start a conversation by saying something like, "Hey Virgilio, tell me a bit about your political views. Just how liberal are you?" He'd shout at you, "Shut up, can't you see that I am listening to the sound that the raindrops are making when they hit the sidewalk!"
"Surely you must be bored of that by now. We've been out walking in the rain about a hundred times now and that's all you've done."
"Be quiet. I could never tire of listening to the sound of raindrops hitting the sidewalk. Let me listen to it. It is my favourite thing. Didn't you read my facebook profile?"
"Yes, but I thought that was more of a romantic allusion than an actual..."
"Shut up, you're spoiling the rain drops!"
'Why did you take Richard Herring's name? Why?"
"That's it, this is over. Leave me to my raindrops and my investing and my love of general crafts. And never come back to Macedonia again!"

But I'd advise you all to go and make friends with Virgilio Anderson and message him about his interests. It's what he wants. Be nice to him, because he's really easy to get on with and mature and responsible and patient. But we need to find out more about him. Please let me know anything you discover as, as yet, he does not want to message with me.

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