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Tuesday 26th February 2008

Days Without Alcohol - 58
As predicted yesterday's light-headedness was a precursor to feeling properly ill today. I don't get ill very often and it's annoying as this malady is obviously down to the stress of the 575 miles of driving on Sunday. I woke up at about 5am with a sore throat and a headache and was incredibly tired and yet totally unable to get back to sleep again. Hours passed by with me trying to nod off, but never quite managing to do so, my mind playing tricks on me and stopping me sleeping whenever it looked likely to happen. It's horrible being ill and I just have too much on at the moment to justify the recuperation time. I had a gig at night and didn't want to let people down, but felt lousy enough to probably justify pulling out. But I went back to bed in the afternoon, feeling like death, with heavy legs, sweating and with my brain still racing with odd delusions. Once again I couldn't sleep despite really needing to and I wondered whether I would ever be able to sleep again. My brain seemed to be telling me I wouldn't, but then it also seemed to think that I was a middle-aged woman (at least that was the voice speaking to me in my head, replacing my own usual manly thoughts). Had I gone insane?
On the plus side I had completely lost my appetite, so hopefully this incident will speed up further my already alarming weight loss. This morning for the first time for many years I weighed in at under 13 stone.
After a bath and forcing some food down I felt a bit better and I foolishly risked doing the gig, which went fine and the sweats and brain sex change had gone. Thankfully I also managed to fall pretty much straight to sleep when I got home, which was a relief as never sleeping again might have proved problematic.
It's lucky I have no driving to do this week as I think I would have had to cancel gigs or take someone else with me. But if I am not better by Sunday then that problem will return.

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