Although Melbourne is great, it is not perfect. Like anywhere it has its fair share of strange men offering to sell you drugs (unless they actually are just offering to smack me), and alcohol ravaged tramps (and after four straight days on the lash I fear I may be in danger of joining them by the end of the festival).

But even the tramps are friendly. One of them asked me if I wanted one of his beers when I was enjoying a burger outside a fast food restaurant. I declined.

Though homelessness is a tragic thing and a subject that one shouldn't be flippant about (so sorry that I am being) I would have thought Melbourne was at least a comparitively nice place to sleep outdoors in, if you have to be a tramp somewhere.

Yes, I know I'm being crass, but even so. At least its warmish most of the time.

It set me to wondering whether living on the streets might be an option for everyone. Would it be possible to do it without the begging and drinking aspect? If you could keep the rest of your life exactly the same (ie keep your job and friends and everything), think of all the money you'd save in rent, council tax and bills. Your bank balance would soon start to look very healthy, with the minimal outgoings you would now shell out for. Obviously you wouldn't be able to have many possessions, but that would just save you even more money. I think we all have too many possessions anyway. We don't use half the stuff we've got.

You may think that you'd become scruffy and dirty and lose your job, but you would easily be able to afford to go to the gym every morning and wash there. If you were well organised you could also afford to have all your clothes dry-cleaned. You could pop in each morning and give them yesterday's clothes, and then pick up a complete fresh set each day. You could store quite a few different outfits at the shop and then just collect them when you needed them.

You'd easily be able to afford to eat out every night and could still socialise in pubs and clubs. With the money you had saved you could lavish drinks on everyone. A big spender like that would probably manage to pull every single night, which would mean you wouldn't even have to sleep on the street most of the time. If you were alone and the weather was really bad you could always book into a hotel.

With the money you saved you could also afford to go on expensive holidays and you could save even more money by sleeping rough on the streets of your holiday destination.

I may be ignoring the danger and the lack of sleep one might get in a cold shop doorway, but no system is perfect. And how much would it cost to buy a blow up lilo and some nice bed linen, which could be stored at low cost in a locker somewhere? Additionally it would still be relatively cheap to employ a security guard to watch over you while you slept for the requisite eight hours (probably about 50 pounds a night, still cheaper than most rents and if you put a hat down beside you as you slept you'd probably get given some money by passers-by anyway)

Yes, I think it would definitely work. I can think of no draw-backs. I will let you know if I decide to stay in Melbourne and give it a go.

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