Warming Up

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My son was going to school in his new jacket today. He loves dressing up as a mini businessman in a shirt and tie and Catie recently bought him an adult sized jacket in the sales. He will be able to grow into it. This morning though he kept badgering me asking if he could have a fake arm to wear in the jacket. I don't know how much of my stuff he's seen, but I presume he must be aware of my Rod Hull garb which I wore for the Right Bollock bit in Can I Have My Ball Back?, which includes a fake arm to disguise the fact that I am cleverly puppeteering with my real arm,

If he is not aware of this then this is even weirder.

I wasn't prepared to go and rip an arm off that costume at this time of the morning, but I did remember that I had a fake hand on my desk (who doesn't) and let him have that. So he headed off to school with the fake hand hanging out of his oversized jacket arm, ready to play tricks on his classmates.

Like his father this kid is always going for the joke, no matter how exhausting that will be for everyone else.

He committed to it though and tried to use his fake hand to pick up his rucksack. And when that didn't work, said that I'd have to carry it.

He still had it on at hometime too and seems committed to using it tomorrow as well, but wants the full arm.

I am very sorry for breeding.

The Lame Stream media won't tell you the truth about the cider-drinking child mannequin. But Ally and I will. Today's Newsround.

Maybe my son stole her in order to acquire an age appropriate arm.

First guest for Edinburgh Fringe confirmed. Badgers and Substack Payers, check your secret areas. 

Tickets here https://www.thestand.co.uk/fringe/2925/richard-herring-rhlstp