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Well I did get a skiing holiday in Switzerland but I hated skiiing so that was more of a punishment and it was in no way comparable to the puppet orgy that I definitely wasn't a part of and which didn't happen anyway. So I couldn't have been involved if you think about it for one second.
Maybe I should be writing about how I'd love to own a Ferrari or be made King of Belgium rather than saying I want to have sex with puppets (which I don't and if I did I've got loads in my office anyway. I don't though) or that I like history based sketches.
Having said that, getting to go the Horrible Histories studio was absolutely brilliant and better than owning a Ferrari or being made the monarch of a country that I might not be able to identify on a map. It was so lovely of them to invite us and Ernie was incredibly excited. We got a tour of the costume department - an incredible space packed with thousands of costumes. Ernie got to try a few on and kept asking if he could keep them (worth a try). We then went through to make-up where Ernie wanted to know how they made Elizabethan characters look like they had had small pox and then suggested they just use wet paper to make spots to save money. Looks like he was vying for the job of producer
Then we went into the studio where they were filming a very funny sketch about Henry VIII's lame April Fools joke. We got to watch on the monitor with headphones like we were Hugh Grant in Notting Hill.
Ernie got bored because they kept on doing the same scene over and over again (that's my problem with acting too) and we got to look at the sets that weren't being used yet (that got put up and taken down and replaced with staggering speed).
Ernie's favourite bit was the prop store, packed with weapons and fake bloody limbs (Ernie did several jokes based around "I can give you a hand" - clearly vying for the job of writer. He also asked if he was allowed to keep a couple of the swords. You don't ask you don't get. Also in this case if you do ask you don't get. The prop store man was as enthusiastic as Ernie about his amazing treasures, so Ernie added another potential job to his wish list.
The cast were very welcoming too. They have long days and get through a huge number of sketches in that time, but still took time to pose for photos with Ernie.
As we left Ernie asked if there were any acting jobs he could do on the show, but was told he'd need a licence to do that. He claimed to have a licence, but I don't think they believed him. At least he hasn't inherited his dad's reticence to push himself and embarrassment about networking.
Whilst we were still in the building he asked if he could come back again. They had made this fan and potential Horrible Histories one-man band very happy.
They did give him a Horrible Histories water bottle to take away with him. He later said he should have got two and I thought he was thinking of his sister (who had had to go to school - Ernie is already on half term), but he said that if he had two he could sell one for millions of pounds (he later asked Alexa what a Horrible Histories water bottle was worth).
Partly mercenary, but also it gives a clear indication of how much this show and this trip meant to him. To Ernie something as rare as a Horrible Histories water bottle should be worth millions (and you can't get them in the shops, so he may be right).
Thanks so much to the incredible team for being so kind as to invite us. Ernie loved it. We all loved it. Better than a free Ferrari.
