We went to see Black Panther tonight and as great as it is to see a superhero movie with a predominantly black cast, I have to say how pleased I was that the producers had taken my advice by putting a Tim from the Office in it. They made Tim speak with an American accent (I guess to help with selling the film in America), but it was definitely Tim from the Office. Sort of standing there, looking to camera, saying, “Why am I in this exactly? I’m not black.” He didn’t literally say that, but that’s what’s great about Tim from the Office, he can communicate stuff like that in a look. He did it in the Office. He did it when he was helping out all those hobbits. He always did a brilliant look every time Benedict Cumberbatch said “Elementary my dear Watson,” instead of “Elementary by dear Tim from the Office.”
Anyway it’s nice that Tim from the Office comes in and saves the day by putting the bad man’s stapler in some Jell-o (for an American audience), although I think it was a mistake to only include that detail in a post credits scene that broadly hints that the next film will be “Tim From the Office and the Boy Black Panther Wonder”. To be fair that will make me feel a lot more comfortable as a white man. There were too many people who weren’t white and didn’t even have penises playing pivotal roles in this movie. Would it be too much to ask that the Black Panther producers put together an alternative cut of the film which concentrates more on the white be-penised characters. We could see Tim from the Office and Gollum hanging out in the casino a bit more. Or chatting in the interrogation room. And Tim from the Office could swoop in and help Gollum when he gets himself into trouble. I am sure all the business over the ring is forgotten about now.
Of course we are still a long way away from seeing a mainstream movie that has a shrek in it. Producers wouldn’t dare. And that is their real hypocrisy.
I spent a frustrating day trying to solve my intermittently malfunctioning dishwasher issues. Yes, that is a First World Problem isn’t it? The thing is this is where I live. If you’re so concerned about the Third World maybe read a blog from someone who lives there. Or, you know, try and do something about Third Word problems rather than looking smug about having pointed out that First World Problems aren’t as bad (without even noticing the ironies that complaining about First World Problems is probably the major unimportant First World Problem - FWPers FWP thyselves).
I tried to reach out to the manufacturers by DM on Twitter, explaining that I had insisted on using their products as I thought their name indicated quality and reliability and I assumed they’d have great customer service if their products failed. But after initially seeming sympathetic, they then just repeated the assertion that they would need to send an engineer around to assess the problem. I explained that they had already sent three engineers round and none of them had managed to locate the issue, even though the last time I left the dishwasher in its undrained state for their arrival. Alas when you turn it off and start it again, then it drains and it only fails to drain every seven or eight times. So unless an engineer comes to live in our house (which I am up for) they are unlikely to see the problem in action. You’d think there would come a point where it’s cheaper to just replace the machine, but apparently not.
Presumably they are trying to grind me down with an endless string of visits from engineers, until I get Stockholm Syndrome and decide just to live with the fact that every now and again I need to run my dishwasher twice. And it’s working. Cos I was so tired by 5pm that I needed a sleep.
I won’t embarrass the company by naming them, even though I did offer them a free advertising slogan. Need a new Washing Machine? Get the Siemen(s) out.
RHLSTP with Elis James and John Robins is now up in the usual places
On the 26th March my guests will be Al Murray and Desiree Burch
26th Feb Mackenzie Crook and All Killa, No Filla (not many tickets left)
5th March Katherine Ryan and Peter Baynham (even fewer tickets left)
12th March Brian Blessed and Pippa Evans (SOLD OUT)
19th March TBA
26th March Al Murray and Desiree Burch
2nd April TBA