Quite a few people got in touch to inform me that two a shreks had got married. It seems that the traditionalists were right. If you let gay people get married then everyone will want to join in. Now even a shreks are getting in on it. It's Adam and a shrek, not a shrek and another shrek. I am not shrekist but I also think it's wrong for two a shreks of such different hues of green to get together. Think of the children.

All I can say is that if I was going to get married as a shrek (and I don't know why I didn't think of it) I would put a bit more fucking effort into my costume. This guy blew the budget on the eyebrows which I would say are a bit over the top.

Anyway, I've seen the story. No need to tweet me about it!

Out on what could be my last road trip in my old car. It's slightly sad to see her go, but on the other hand it doesn't really matter if I dent her now and so if anyone annoys me on the road then I can gently rear-end them. We were heading to Cheddar today, where I am always invited back to do more of my filthy comedy despite slightly shocking the Cheddar Valley. This year they didn't even mention the title of the show in any of the publicity, which I thought might be a problem. People would be turning up with no idea what they were about to be subjected to. It was a risk.

Although the crowd seemed initially reticent about some of the more risque jokes the show bounced along OK, though it was a bit weird having to make people imagine their father's spunking cocks not only with my own dad in the audience, but with some of my contempories from school sitting next to their own daughters. In the time that I have produced reams of sweary cock-obsessed humour they have managed to produce adult human beings. Let no one say I have wasted my life. Because it hurts to have to face the truth.

But all the Cheddar celebrities were in the audience. There is only one. Trina Gulliver the nine times Ladies World Darts Champion. Look impressed, because that is impressive. I forgot to ask her if she practises by playing Me1 against Me2. I bet she does.

Bath, Bridgend, Shrewsbury and Birmingham still to come this week - ticket available for all though Shrewsbury is close to selling out.

Comic Relief are trying to raise a million pounds via Twitter by encouraging people to promise to raise £50, doing whatever you like, and allying yourself to your favourite "celebrity". If you'd like to join team Herring then sign up here. Tweet me and let me know that you've joined in and what you're doing and I will RT and follow you for at least a month. I don't care about the charity aspect of this. I just want to beat Emma Kennedy. You know it has to be done. Just as you know that I have as much chance of beating her as I do of taking down Bane!

And I have been nominated for two Chortle awards this year. RHLSTP is up for best podcast and Fist of Fun has been nominated for best DVD. Fist of Fun has never been nominated for any award so it's exciting to be up for our first one after 18 years. It is up against Stewart Lee's solo DVD though which obviously is rubbish and must not be allowed to win. If you feel so inclined please vote here. If I win the internet award for the third year running I apparently get to keep the internet. Me 2 was furious that the snooker podcast was overlooked, until he was reminded that this is a comedy awards and not a serious sporting podcast awards and he is satisfied now.

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