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What is Love, Anyway?
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@Villyvarts ha, yeah. I thought that's what you meant  (1 day ago)

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@manxtim I'd start with beard.  (1 day ago)

@manxtim tomorrow hopefully. Takes a little time to prep  (1 day ago)

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FORTHCOMING EVENTS
RICHARD HERRING'S LEICESTER SQUARE THEATRE PODCAST: Another series of RHLSTP (rhlstp) will run from May 27th - July 1st.
May 27th - Chris Addison.
June 3rd Stephen Fry
June 10th Mary Beard and John Lloyd
June 17th Russell Brand
June 24th Edgar Wright and Mark Thomas
Other guests to be confirmed, but I am aiming for BIG names, so book now
GIGS: These are my upcoming gigs.
Click GIGS above for more details.
WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! unless otherwise stated
JUNE
19th Shepherd's Bush
25th Oxford
26th Camden
27th Islington
NEW DOWNLOADS/PRESS: 15/06/13 PRESS Gigglesbeat article about Meaning of Life
13/06/13 JOURNALISM/DOWNLOADS Telegraph piece about Podcast Possibilities
JOURNALISM Metro 68










EDINBURGH FRINGE 2013: Tickets are now on sale for both my Edinburgh Fringe shows. "We're All Going To Die!" is on at the Pleasance Beyond at 8pm Book here
Richard Herring's Edinburgh Fringe Podcast is at Stand 1 daily at 14.10. Book here
TALKING COCK TOUR: All the tour dates are now up on the Talking Cock page

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Skin Selector



Warming Up
Friday 25th January 2013

It's always nice when a Warming Up idea makes for a good Metro article (or even a bad one - it's not easy coming up with something every week) and it's enjoyable to take a hastily written blog and try and work it up for the paper. I haven't been particularly inspired since the holiday, but thought the Airplane settings blog might make for an interesting piece. So last Monday with the deadline fast approaching I had a go at expanding on the ideas and just four days later commuters get to read it.

This one seemed to resonate with a lot of people and of course attract a fair share of pedants!

@lothos said "Surely the true pedantic point with the joke is that in Airplane mode she wouldn't be able to send the tweet #geekpedantry"

But I was more than a match for him replying "No because the phone refused to go into airplane mode and called her Shirley, thus allowing her to tweet #outpedanted".

I was amazed that the Metro printed the word "Fruunkflaat" because it really means something incredibly filthy. I have not told anyone what it means and nor will I ever, but it's astonishing that a family newspaper would print it in full. I expected them to pring "Fru*nkflaat" to protect tiny children from such dirt (I mean some might argue it's also blasphemous, I can't comment). I will leave the fall out to the Press Complaints People, but I expect a heavy fine. In fact I am writing to them to insist upon it. It really is an awful thing to put in print. Use the word at your peril. You might think it's funny to use an expletive that you don't know the definition of, but it's not. Please don't spread this. You have no idea what you're saying.

Yet despite all this, it's a word you can say on children's TV, in church or just shout out repeatedly in the street and nothing bad will happen to you and no one will even chastise you. Only God and I (perhaps the same person) will know what atrocity you have committed. It certainly says something about the random nature of offence at profanity that this is the case. People who get upset about the words "fuck" and "cunt", which are merely just indicators of perfectly natural (and I would say not only inoffensive but rather wonderful) functions or body parts, wouldn't even bat an eye-lid at Frunnkflaat, which believe me would make the most disgusting internet troll blush if he (and let's face it he's a he) knew what it was describing. I suspect some youngsters will start bandying it around, thinking it makes them cool that they don't care about what they're saying. I hope they enjoy eternity in Hell. Though I think there's a chance that they wouldn't even be let into Hell. This word is so disgraceful that even Satan draws the line. He hardly gets offended by anything. He enjoys rape jokes on an unironic level and spends most of his day superimposing the faces of pleasant academics on to female gentialia and yet he'd still be a bit sick in the back of his mouth if you said "Fluunkflaat" to him. So please don't make this a thing. Even though, as long as I keep the secret of what it means, no one can reasonably be offended by it. They'd be just guessing as to what and why it was offensive and would have to whip themselves up into a fury about something they had imagined. They'd be right to be offended because it is offensive and yet they'd also be idiots to be offended by something that they couldn't possibly know about. It's sort of beautiful. Only a real Fluunkflaat could be upset by the word Fluunkflaat. And yet only a terrible Fluunkflaat couldn't be.






Buy the Talking Cock book here

Tickets are now on sale for both my Edinburgh Fringe shows. "We're All Going To Die!" is on at the Pleasance Beyond at 8pm Book here
Richard Herring's Edinburgh Fringe Podcast is at Stand 1 daily at 14.10. Book here


You can get video downloads of Richard Herring's Leicester Square Theatre Podcast from Go Faster Stripe
A video explaining the idea can be seen here
You can buy tickets to the shows from the Leicester Square Theatre website
You can still download the audio for free from the British Comedy Guide or iTunes


You can subscribe to this blog on Kindle. Now only �0.99 a month here. Or just carry on reading it on here for free.

Also on your kindle (or any smart phone or tablet with the kindle app) catch up on the early years of Warming Up (with extra retrospective additions) with Bye Bye Balham and The Box Lady and Other Pesticles (only �3.53 each)


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