8229/21148
Thinking about it realistically , it will probably never happen. I'd just serve an ace on the first one to seal the victory.
Some of you might think it's too late for me to become a professional tennis player, but I have picked up the sport again in the last couple of months and played for an hour a week (plus loads of table tennis, which is basically the same, just smaller and on a table) and I have won every match I've played (my 10 year old daughter has beaten me in pretty much every table tennis match, but only cos she cries if she loses, so as long as my tennis opponent doesn't start to cry when I am beating them then I should be OK - damn now they will know my weakness).
Also I famously took a set off my nephew in 2004, before losing 2-1 and only sweating a little bit.
Match report here.So I've decided that I am giving up comedy (didn't know you'd started) and becoming a professional tenniser. Instagram keeps telling me you're never too old to follow your dream (though hardly any of the examples they give are of people starting to follow their dreams beyond the age of 50) and Instagram wouldn't lie, so I reckon if I up my playing to two hours a week and maybe lose a bit of weight then I can compete at a top level.
The thing that's really swung this decision for me is the realisation that tennis players get to drink pickle juice. The finalists were chugging the stuff yesterday and I was pretty jealous. I'd love to be able to drink the juice out of a pickle jar like it was water, but there's no way I can do that if I am not a top tennis professional. People would look at me like I was insane. But I love vinegar, it's probably my favourite acid, and I would like to be able to drink it in public, with a load of other pickle stuff in it, and not be considered weird. In fact, be considered a hero. As long as I wasn't 40 love up and serving for the match and then managed to fuck up. You don't come back from that.
If that had happened to me though, I would have engineered it so that the final set went to a tie break and then let my opponent get 9-0 up and then beat him 11-9, just to give him a taste of his own medicine (pickle juice) and to show him how you really turn a match around. How would you do it, Rich? I'd just serve 11 aces.
But Rich wouldn't half the serves be by the other player?
You don't know much about tennis do you? If you're 9-0 down in a final set tie-break you get to do all the serves from then on. At least you should be able to. Or it's a bit unfair.
Also always remember the Herring Manoeuvre - it's the person who wins the last point that wins, so only try and win that one and don't waste your energy on all the others.
