I felt surprisingly nervous for most of the day. I hardly suffer from nerves any more, but there has been a long build up to the first show and the sense of anticipation was growing, as well as the fear that I might have forgotten everything in the last five idle days.
My friend Tom texted me a picture of a vandalised photo (at the Victoria St entrance to the Underbelly). Someone had drawn devil horns on my face, and Ming the Merciless eyebrows and written "Bad Man" next to my face. Also, rather amusingly they had drawn a Hitler moustache over my Hitler moustache, which seemed rather counter-productive. You can't draw a Hitler moustache on someone who already has a Hitler moustache, especially one advertising a show called Hitler Moustache. I think they'd rather missed the point.
But the photo made me laugh, even if it was the second year running that my poster in that location had been vandalised. (
See this blog for details). I think I was more upset by seeing my child's eye poked out than being turned into a devil by someone who (presumably) hadn't seen the show. Perhaps they were a Guardian reader, or perhaps they though it was actually a picture of Hitler (in which case they were spot on with their "bad man" analysis) or perhaps someone out there really hates me. I know it's almost impossible to believe.
Meanwhile I was procrastinating whilst trying to prepare for my show. My beard had a good five days of growth, which made the moustache somewhat indistinct, but the time had come to shave it off, so my little toothbrush stood out for all the world to see. I also had bought some black mascara just to highlight the face fuzz further, as some people had remarked that it didn't look as impressive on stage as it did in real life. With a bit more darkness in it the moustache did seem to jump out at you. Now that's a scary thought.
I had decided to wear my suit on stage as well, just to give the initial image a bit more impact - I've mainly been in jeans and T shirt for the preview and having say Hong Kong Phooey on my chest does detract a little from the scariness of the most evil moustache in history. I had bought a black tie in town this morning and so I tried on the whole ensemble and it did help me get into character a bit. Even though the character was just me.
Samuel Beckett was watching over me. Did he approve or disapprove? It's hard to tell with Beckett. His time travel antics always put him in a bad mood - Oh Boy!
The show is a little later this year and I felt like I was kicking my heels a bit after dinner, but finally it was time to walk up the hill, in my suit, with my black moustache, carrying a pink bucket with crudely drawn swastikas all over it, full of homemade Hitler moustaches. I got a few more odd looks than usual, but no comments. It is the Fringe. Perhaps if I had also been throwing up in the gutter someone might have paid more attention.
Even though the Underbelly was not overflowing with punters my show had indeed sold out. I'd sold 80 more tickets than for my opening show last year and could have done more. Although I will not be getting complacent just yet, it does take off a lot of pressure. Usually I am reliant on good reviews to help me boost audiences and ensure I don't lose money, but the signs seem good that people already have me marked down as a show to see. If the word of mouth is poor and the reviews downbeat then the numbers might go down, but in my heart I know that this is shaping up to be one of my best shows, possibly even better than last year. It's always a worry when you've had a good year about how you can top it, or what will happen if next year's show isn't as good. This one is so different to last year's, but my feeling is that it is another step forward.
I was already a little bit sweaty having just walked up the hill, but that was nothing compared to what was to come. By the end of the performance my suit was soaked through, which takes some doing and as I have no day off and little chance to get it dry cleaned I think it's going to be rather stinky by the end of August. It might even have started falling apart.
I was a little uncomfortable on stage and perhaps should have done one preview in this unusual apparel. I think I usually sling one hand into the pocket of my jeans, but couldn't do this tonight. I will get used to it, but it was one of the minor things that threw me off a little bit. The intro tape came in at the wrong place (which I had know was going to happen at some point as you have to manually put the iPod back to the beginning of a track if its been half played - anyone know how to override that?) and the microphone didn't seem to be on when I started. I had to bang it and say "Is this thing on?" but fortuitously that accidentally happened at a point where I had just done a deliberately unfunny joke and it looked like part of the show. I found that even with just five days off, my mind was struggling to remember exactly what came next. It was all going well, but I was rushing a little and I thought a bit slurry and didn't perform it quite as well as I have at some of the previews. But I got through it all and got laughs all the way and a massive round of applause at the end. Once I am relaxed and more confident I think this is going to be blistering. It was almost hot enough in the room to damage skin as it was.
Great to have a show under my belt, but I was tired afterwards and my brain was fuggy, so after a glass or two of wine with a friend I headed back to the flat. Even five years ago I would have been out on the lash, celebrating the completion of the opening show, but now I am 42 and perhaps those days are gone. I am sure I will have my moments at this year's Fringe, but whereas in the past an early night would have been a depressing thought, now as I walked back down the hill I felt empowered and happy and glad to be getting away from it all.
I am looking forward to the rest of the month. Please do book ahead if you want to see this show. It might not be one that you can leave to the last minute.
