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I was heading into town for a recording of David Baddiel’s fun Radio 4 show “Don’t Make Me Laugh†(think it’s out next year, tune in to hear me being roasted quite persistently throughout). The wind was blowing, the traffic was terrible and London had the air of post-Apocalypse even at 8pm. We’d had a fun day with Phoebe, who has almost recovered from her illness and was back to her cheeky self, but I was flagging by the evening, but couldn’t quite sleep during the 75 minute cab journey (that would usually have taken 20 minutes) because the driver kept moaning to me about the traffic and the other drivers and the fact that he was meant to be home by now, with a takeaway for his daughter.
There were hold ups all the way. The Uxbridge Road was closed because (I later learned) the roof of a shop I walk past every day had collapsed, injuring a passerby. And at the end of our journey the road we were heading to was being relaid. And there was loads of jams in between.
He got into quite a few close shaves, so either he was very unlucky or maybe it wasn’t the other drivers who were so terrible. He went through a red light outside Leicester Square (though partly because traffic was slow and he got caught halfway) and had a good go at driving through the pedestrians crossing in front of him. When they shouted at him that the lights were red, he said that he couldn’t stop where he was. I understood that he was frustrated as it had taken him an hour to get to me and this job was taking a long time, but I feared his frustration might kill someone. It felt like the end of days, but then that is London at the weekend I suppose. It felt like something was going to happen. But maybe we’re all primed for that at the moment.
It was hard to build up the energy for an improvised radio show, though at least the brief was to be as unfunny as possible. Sara Pascoe was there, which was a troubling sign as our last two jobs together have been deeply weird. This one was only shallowly weird, but I wonder if we are exuding some kind of magnetic force that creates chaos. Or tonight London was rubbing everyone up the wrong way and creating a sort of static of frustration and angst.
And I got a different cab home, though the driver seemed mildly annoyed and confused too. He went through a green light to be confronted with a car coming from the right, seemingly ignoring the red light that must have been in front of him. It was a close shave and we were only seconds from disaster. But my guy stopped and honked his horn. Weirdly another car came from the right and went in front of us as well. That car beeped at us. We couldn’t both have right of way, but it seemed the lights were broken and there was a car behind us whose driver also assumed we had right of way, due to the green light. As we got through the driver wondered if the wind had blown one of the traffic lights around 90 degrees, giving us the impression that we could go. I am not sure what happened and although a part of me thought if that was the case we should probably mention it to someone. Or the next driver through might not be as fortunate as we’d been.
But the driver just laughed it off and we got on our way. When I got home I vaguely tweeted tfl without really being able to tell them where this had happened. But they said they’d look into it. I didn’t feel great about my lack of urgency. But I guess the fact that the problem hadn’t already revealed itself suggested that nothing bad had happened. Fingers crossed.
I got through the day without being in a car accident or having a building fall on me. And London mainly stayed standing for now.
The Lord of the Dance Settee DVD should be on sale by the end of the week. If only there was some huge present giving event on the horizon.
