The shows in Melbourne have been going pretty well, though the Aussie audiences are much more reserved and easily shockable than I had imagined they would be. This is possibly because the crowds are still pretty small. I probably had about sixty in tonight, which would be OK if I wasnÂ’t in a 600 seater theatre.
I think the people who have seen it have enjoyed it and IÂ’ve had three good reviews and lots of great preview press, but that isnÂ’t translating into bums on seats (though to be honest it would be equally disappointing if I had to play to a theatre which was just full of disembodied bums on seats. I dread to think how they would show their appreciation. Also a bum on its own would have no sense of sight or hearing and so couldnÂ’t enjoy the show on any level. In fact a bum disembodied from the rest of the organs of the body would probably be unable to survive the 60 minutes of the show. I think I would be faced with a theatre full of 600 arses writhing around in agony. It would be horrible. Though as long as theyÂ’d paid, I wouldnÂ’t mind ?though how would they pay?..... Thinking about it this is unlikely to ever happen and so probably isnÂ’t worth wasting too much time pondering over).
Despite the audience being a bit quiet and the lack of numbers I think I did a pretty good gig tonight. I really enjoyed it anyway and I am still finding new stuff in the material and new ways of doing things. It would be great if the numbers picked up over the course of the run, but I sort of think that things would have had to get better this weekend if that was going to happen. Last year I let the small audiences get me down, until the last week or so, when I managed to adapt and enjoy playing to twenty or thirty people. This year I am determined to have fun from the start, though I have to admit my head has started to drop on occasions in the last week.
I was talking to Dave Gorman last night (yes, again, the comedian one, not any of the other ones you may have seen) and he postulated that people might be being put off coming to the show, because without knowing me or my previous work you might imagine youÂ’re going to be treated to an hour of just knob gags. He suggested that this wasnÂ’t helped by the fact that one of the publicity stunts for the show is having some men dressed as sperm, roaming the streets, handing out condoms with a Talking Cock sticker on each packet. Dave says that that would be the kind of thing that would make him decide not to see the show being advertised. He may well be right on that one.
At the end of the day I do have to remember that I am in Australia, having fun and making new friends and that this is my job.
And also that my job isnÂ’t to get dressed up as a sperm and hand out condoms to strangers.
