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Friday 30th July 2021


Another month over (in working terms) and I still haven’t finished the first episode of Relativity. I hoped I might get it done this afternoon, but some last minute programme associating came in and I had to write some jokes instead. My favourite, which probably won’t be used due to it being a reference that is too obscure for the young was the Sting resembles Bodie and Doyle from the Professionals genetically spliced together.  Though I also found it amusing that a seventy year old man still goes by the nickname he was given 50 years ago. David Baddiel tells a story about a friend of his meeting The Edge and  him introducing himself as “The Edge” but she was unable to understand what he was saying and asked him to repeat it. Again he said he was “The Edge” and again she couldn’t work out what he was saying. Eventually he mumbled, “Dave, my name’s Dave.”
I feel OK about not getting my own work done though. And that’s the problem. Writing doesn’t come from calmness (for me). I have lots of ideas for the new series and just need to be frightened enough to sit down and get on with it. I don’t think I will have much time to get stuff written in August, but hope that at least episode one will be done by then. 
I hate myself and all I stand for. 
So must you. My blog is just a revolving cavalcade of all my mistakes and I never seem to learn anything. Oh look at him having lost weight again. I expect this time he won’t put it back on again. Look at him struggling to write a script. I bet he won’t get it done this time…..
One day I will surprise you all.

Luckily I am going to spend the next week with my parents, so if I don’t come home with a dozen plot lines then something has gone very wrong.  Even a holiday is still work for a writer.

And if I can get myself into a better physical shape, maybe I can overcome my writing demons, accept that I am lucky to have this as a job, not worry about all the good and OK scripts I wrote that nothing happened to and plough on with creating some cool stuff over the next few years.

I know I live a ridiculously charmed life. Even getting cancer turns out to be a positive thing for me. And the worst thing that happened to me today was that a TV show paid me a reasonably amount of money for writing jokes (many of them only half formed) about some pop stars. 
I walked the dog, had a personal training session that I actually mainly enjoyed, had a bath and my in-laws took the kids off my hands for the afternoon. Maybe I’ve earned this cushy existence. Maybe I am just a jammy bastard. Which way are you leaning on that?

Another guest announced for RHLSTP to monthly badgers only in the secret members' area of  Sorry it's all men so far, but hoping the next few announcements will include some women (some exciting names have confirmed they'd like to do it but just waiting on confirmation of which dates!)
All badgers (including new ones) will get 50% off the cost of live streaming the new series of RHLSTP btw, so if you haven't made the plunge yet then now is a good time to spend £3 a month (or more if you like) to get this and loads more extras (including finding out who the guests will be ahead of everyone else). 
The only factual inaccuracy is that I wasn't doing stand up when I started podcasting - I was, of course, doing  a new show a year at that time. Podcasting had a direct effect on making my stand up tours viable as it quickly doubled my (admittedly modest) audiences.
Retro RHLSTP with Louis Theroux up today here or wherever you get your podcasts.

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