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Friday 30th July 2004

I was on the train heading for Newcastle for a brief stop over with my director Jeremy who lives there. I had been put in Coach D, which was designated as a quiet coach (or something like that) where mobile phones were not to be used and people were expected to be considerate to other passengers. I hadn't asked to go in this coach, but thought I would respect my fellow passengers by putting my phone on silent and not conducting any conversations in the carriage.
Despite frequent written and spoken reminders the other occupants of the quiet coach were not so thoughtful. On man's phone actually played a proper Detiny's Child track as its ring-tone which was quite loud and annoying and plenty of others had loud conversations.
I wasn't that arsed about it myself, I don't mind noise. But I thought it was a bit inconsiderate.
Later on a couple of young men started watching a DVD together on a portable DVD. They used headphones which was a little bit considerate, each taking one ear-piece each. Though less considerately one of them kept complaining in a very loud voice (even though one of his ears did not have an ear-phone in it) that the volume wasn't up high enough. I could also tell from the loud conversation that they were having that the film they were watching was "School of Rock" which I have seen recently and would rate as moderately amusing with few if any genuine laugh out loud moments.
One of the men watching clearly disagreed with my analysis as he was laughing out loud approximately every thirty seconds. And not just out loud, but very loudly. Everyone else in the coach kept looking round at the noise, including me. I think this was fair enough as this was a quiet coach and the man was not being quiet. He was being loud. However, I could take the moral high ground as unlike a lot of the other people I had not been using my mobile phone either.
The man was laughing a bit too loudly now, as if trying to make the point that people might e looking at him, but he was going to laugh as loudly as he wanted. Either that or he was a cretin. Or maybe both things were true.
Eventually his companion suggested that he might like to be a bit quieter.
"Why should I?" he asked in a really loud voice, "If I'm enjoying the film I should be allowed to show that. There's no rule against it."
I thought about saying there was a rule against it in this coach, but I didn't need to as his friend said, "Well actually there is."
"It's not as bad as people using mobile phones," he complained loudly. No-one challenged him. I thought about responding, "It is probably slightly worse and in any case mobile phones are also not meant to be used in this carriage, so your argument holds no water anyway," but there was only 15 minutes til I got off and I didn't really care about the noise and didn't think it was worth getting into a fight over. Although I'd quite liked to, because I would not only have been chasitising him, but also all the mobile phone users and I could then have looked at them pointedly and pulled a self-satisfied face.
It was clear the whole thing had become a question of human rights to him, and that as I suspected his laughter and the volume of his conversation had been his way of saying, "I'll do what I like."
Even if he hadn't been in the quiet coach I think his behaviour would have been selfish and unacceptable. It's perfectly possible to enjoy "School of Rock" without having to guffaw that loudly. I know, because I managed to do it quite comfortably in the privacy of my own home with no-one around to hear me.
As I went by them to leave the train I thought about giving them a withering look, but it didn't seem worth it. He was still protesting his rights to laugh when he wanted. He was a twat.
I didn't tell him though, but his mate clearly recognised me and whispered "Moon on a stick", so obviously their poor sense of humour encompasses some of my previous work. So there's a chance that he might end up reading this, so I can tell him now without creating a commotion.
You shouldn't have been making noise OR using a mobile phone in there mate. You are a twat. Have some more consideration next time.

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