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Wednesday 30th April 2014


I have so much to do, but today was one of those days where I was so tired that my mind refused to play ball. My brain was a clump of warm fudge and I was too lethargic to even watch some of my Rasputin films for research. I had managed to get to the gym. Sometimes that energises me, but today it just added to the sleepiness.

It was annoying, but sometimes my body goes on strike and reminds me that I have to have some down time. Next month is going to be very hard work, so a little calm before the storm is maybe not a bad thing.

My frustration spilled over into anger when I checked an email from my car insurance provider Autodirect. I had sorted out the insurance at the weekend and they had taken my money, but when I checked the documents online today I saw they were requesting an extra £300+ for my policy. The implication seemed to be that they had been provided with some new information that I hadn't given them on the phone, but I had been totally up front with them, so this was odd. What made this more infuriating was that exactly the same thing had happened last year. I had told them what I did, they had provided me with a quote and I had paid and then days later tried to get more money from me because of my profession. Even though they had had full disclosure in the phone conversation. To begin with they had insisted that my only option was to pay the excess, but after checking on Twitter I was told that that wasn't legal and I phoned back and spoke to a manager who listened back to the conversation on tape and conceded that I had been honest and they would have to waive the extra fee.

So I was surprised that exactly the same thing had happened again this year. And pissed off about it. It was only a chance checking of the download that had shown me that I possibly wasn't covered and I had only 7 hours to sort it out. I wondered if this was a miscommunication between Autodirect and the insurers or something that they tried as a matter of course. How many people would just pay the extra without knowing that that was not allowed? I nearly did last year.

I rang the provider and was kept on hold for 45 minutes which did not improve my mood. When I finally got through the guy on the line started to tell me that this money had been added on due to my profession, but I knew that this was not on and explained at length why this was a mistake and how pissed off I was. He then told me that if I had let him speak he would have told me that there was a note on the computer saying that the extra fee had been waived. This did not make me any less annoyed. In that case why had they sent me an email about it just about an hour before and then made me give up an hour of my day to confirm that this was their mistake. I told him that he should be paying me for my fucking time. He told me he didn't appreciate the language. I told him I didn't appreciate being kept on the phone for an hour over their mistake when I was already paying them a hefty amount of money. He said that they were very busy, but that might be because they are trying to pull off a scam where they charge people extra money once a policy has been agreed.

It's not nice to swear at someone on the phone, especially when the thing that is happening is not their fault and they have an unpleasant and stressful job, but there has to be a rule where every 45 minute of waiting time allows you one swear without being reprimanded.

But I am still sorry. I took out my annoyance on the wrong person. If I'd been him I would have let the swearing go though. This was his company's balls-up, he doesnt' get to take the moral high ground. Fuck him, the motherfucker.

Sorry, I lost it again.

Of course I should have taken my business elsewhere,  but then that would mean spending the rest of the day trying to find a deal as well as waiting for the money I have already paid to be refunded. These companies rely heavily on our laziness to keep our business. If I can be bothered I might try someone else next year. I bet I won't though and I bet the exact same thing will happen.

I haven't learned a thing.

Then a difficult drive across tube strike hit London to do a try out spot for new material. I arrived with five minutes to spare and the new stuff for Lord of the Dance Settee seemed to be working well (I have next to nothing for the next Meaning of Life, but am hoping that I can AIOTM that again). I have at least 20 minutes of stuff that I am quite happy with already, which puts me way ahead of the curve on the stand up show at least. And it meant that the day didn't feel like a total wash out.

Still a few tickets left for We're All Going To Die! at the Machynnleth Festival on Saturday. Book now.

And I am also doing a RHLSTP (EATMCF) with guest Mike Wozniak on Friday evening so come along to that if you're in town. There's an amazing line-up of comedy on over the weekend. Check it out and come and join in the fun if you can.

This month's Monthly donators lucky draw winners, who each receive one of the Tshirts I wore in the last series of RHLSTP (washed don't worry) are John whitwell, Simon Buckmaster, Matthew Cox, Jonathan Garton & Allan Williams. If you want a chance to win prizes, get access to a secret channel full of exclusive extras (like RHLSTP backstage interviews) and help us fund future projects (all this money will be used to make more content) then sign up for a pound or more a month here. Next month's prize will be some of the stuff that I got in the goodie bag at the Chortle awards including a mobile phone!

Don't worry if you missed out on the T shirts - buy your own one here.

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My new stand up show, Oh Frig I'm 50 is at on tour from February til June 2018. There's also a new series of RHLSTP with recordings every Monday from February 5th to April 2nd All details of shows here.
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