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It was Heterosexual Pride Day today. At last a chance for heterosexuals who feel they have suffered from oppression due to their lifestyle choices to come out and let the world know that they are fucking dickheads. But the real question is when will there be a Men’s Heterosexual Pride Day? It’s a fucking outrage that women get to share in our pride of being straight. This should be a day for men to celebrate together. No women.
Also why do non-breeder heterosexuals get to share my special day. I have proved I am a full of heterosexual by not only having at least one sex with a woman, but also producing a human child (practically on my own, but I guess the feminazis will try to make out they have as much - or even more- to do with it). Where’s my Successful Heterosexual Day.
And when is Heterosexual But Once Snogged Someone Of The Same Sex at College Day? I am asking for a friend who once did that…. and I know because I was the one who snogged him.
And could anyone but heterosexuals come up with such a clunky name as Heterosexual Pride Day? It’s a mouthful all right. And a character consuming hashtag. At least Not-Gay Pride Day would have more brevity, but it does somewhat accentuate the whole “protest too much†vibe that hangs around this day like a semen-splattering fart. In-Denial Day might be the more accurate name.
It’s all very well people being proud of who they are. But who are these maniacs? You’re a human being. You’ve got nothing to be proud of. When will there be a day for people who are largely ashamed of who they are. And we also need a day for people who should be ashamed of who they are. I’d go for June 23rd for that one, personally.
It will come as no surprise to any of you that I have nothing to be proud of. I am flawed and weak and am embarrassed by my every statement and action and fail to sleep every night squirming at my own ineptitude. But unlike everyone else at least I have realised I have nothing to be proud of. They’re all still swanning around as if they’re not just meat-puppets designed to produce faeces and urine. The fact that I alone have realised I should be ashamed, actually makes me proud. So I can’t even do that properly.
Whoever created the idea of days to be proud of yourself must take the blame. Because inevitably someone else saw that pride, envied it and decided that they had a right to be proud of whoever they were. And it just escalates from there. You can never achieve equality via making everyone proud. The only way for us to be equal is to make us all accept that we should be ashamed. Ashamed of our sexual desires, ashamed of our nationality, all of our races, our culture, ashamed of our leaders and our citizens.
At last the UK leads the world. We’ve taken the first step to equality. Let the rest follow us like falling dominoes.
