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Monday 27th March 2017

5236/18156
A proper day off at last, but of course too tired and ill to do much with it. But it’s good to have some down time, even if down time inevitably leads to feeling fucked. I listened to Dan Snow’s excellent History Hit, about a daring WWII POW escape attempt. It’s an almost unbelievable story that has everything, bravery, comradeship and ultimate tragedy, but the story is skilfully told and the triumph and disaster genuinely felt. There’s an incredible part of the story where (and stop reading now if you want to listen to the podcast) where one of the escapers is clear and through to Switzerland, but then returns to try and help his friend who is being held up by a border guard. Consequently they are both captured. The man was free, but he returned (in spite of having agreed that they wouldn’t do that) out of loyalty and decency. It’s a decision that had terrible consequences for him personally. What would these men make of the generations that have followed them? Perhaps we would be as brave and selfless if put in the same situations, but I somehow doubt it. 
Dan Snow has a fairly heavily sponsored podcast. He cheerily does his ads up front and I guess it doesn’t detract too much from what follows. I think I’d still prefer not to do that myself though. I am, of course, happy to promote myself, but in a sense that’s the main point to the free podcasts. It’s interesting to see how other people monetise what they’re doing. I suspect he is dependent on listeners using his codes to make any money and I also suspect that it doesn’t lead to much revenue. But I wonder how you feel about it. Would my listeners prefer to be saved the burdens of the occasional badge or kickstarter purchase even if it meant three minutes of ads at the start? I am not sure it matters what you prefer. Not sure I could pull it off anyway.
I had a fun time with my wilful daughter today. She is independent to the point of idiocy. She wouldn’t let me take her coat off today as she was sure she could do it herself. Of course she couldn’t though. I admire her self-belief. If she can hold on to that then the sky is the limit. As talent is nothing as compared to confidence that you are capable of the impossible and when it’s not possible for you to be wrong. 
She wouldn’t hold my hand on the way back from the park even though I insisted that she had to. I should be cross that she disobeyed me when I was just trying to keep her save, but then again, I am in awe of her refusal to concede. I don’t want to be the one to knock that out of her, even though life surely will. And even though she would be a nightmare if no one knocked it out of her. I know plenty of adults (and Presidents) who still act with the will of a toddler. But life should be a gradual realisation that actually you’re not as great as you believed you were when you were 2. Or at least an understanding that even if you are that great there’s no need to be a prick about it.
We did some fun playing and took some silly risks on the slide and drew pictures and watched TV sitting side by side. My little despotic leader is the best. I have utter devotion to her, even though I know she’s deluded and can be a bit of a tool. This is how the leaders do it, I guess.


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