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Sunday 26th August 2012

I was out last night for my first proper drinking session of the Fringe - and when I say that I just mean I had more than 3 drinks. I have probably not quite got the balance of sobriety versus sociability right this year, but it was good to mess around with pals last night and get a bit pissed.
I only slightly regretted it today, as I was weary and not really in the mood to think about packing or going to collect my car from its free parking space. But these things needed to be done, as did my penultimate podcast and my final Cock. I had one cock and two pods - the normal amount.
I have tried to walk everywhere, whenever possible, during the Fringe, but today I took my fourth taxi of the Festival and the only one that wasn't necessitated by having to be somewhere quicker than I could walk it. I was just too tired to face the walk back up the hill after the podcast. It's impressive that this only happened to me this late - usually the whole last week is a struggle. It's a shame I got ill last week as it stopped me going to the gym and I've been comfort eating to get me through these last few days and my trousers feel tight. But I guess if I'd behaved like that all the way through August then I might be wearing a mu-mu by now.
I had only sold about 90 tickets for Cock in the morning and I wanted to have a good audience for the last show so I decided to give out free tickets to the show to anyone who came to the podcast (and wanted one). By this stage I'd rather have an audience than make money and as the podcasts have been pretty successful for me this year it felt good to reward the audience. I had a few tickets left over afterwards and put out a Twitter challenge saying anyone who could find me and who asked for a ticket could have one. We also had a 2 for 1 ticket offer so the final audience was in excess of 200 which made it a lot of fun to play to. I only filled the venue 3 times (though got close last night) and there were only a couple of times when I got over 300, so all in all the experiment to up the capacity failed. And the external noise at the Udderbelly certainly affected my performance, although for these last few shows the noise from the bar has been a lot quieter and I've been able to shout less and leave more gaps and it's been a much better show as a result. I was playful tonight and messed around a bit and even found a couple of new jokes. I am very much looking forward to the tour, and tickets are already selling well (in fact a couple of them are already sold out), so if you want to see my extended cock, with a break in the middle, then BOOK NOW. It's another big tour so I should be coming close to you. There's a chance that a couple more gigs might get added, but if I am not coming to your local theatre it's either because they didn't want to book me or we couldn't find a mutually satisfactory date.
It didn't feel like the show was over as I left the cow for the last time. Michael Winslow who has been a ray of sunshine throughout the Fringe, always upbeat, singing and cracking jokes, bid me a fond adieu. It's funny to think that he was referred to in my 1995 play, "Punk's Not Dead" when Paul Putner's character did an impression of his work in the Police Academy films. Who would have guessed we would one day be friends? The Fringe is still unpredictable and throws up all kinds of surprises.
I had intended to go out for another drink tonight, but I was too tired and aware that there was still one show to go as well as the first part of our drive home to contend with (we're staying in a Premier Inn near to Carlisle tomorrow night, just to get 100 miles of the journey under our belts).
I tried to eat the remaining cereal in the flat and watched more of the disappointing sixth series of The American Office and thought about going home.
In this year of disruption, change, different flats, touring and our house being a building site, we are about to get back home this week. And all the work should be complete and we have nowhere to dash off to and some time to relax (once I've written Ra-Ra Rasputin). I'll be happy to leave this Fringe behind, disappointed I saw so little here, but overall pleased with the way things turned out - at least until I find out the financial damage!

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