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I was not totally better today, (but I’d lost another 0.6kg and didn’t have much appetite so hopefully should have lost some more tomorrow) but still well enough to travel up to Salford for RHLSTPs with Sarah Millican and Jimmy Cricket. But it did feel a bit like someone was trying to stop the show going ahead - had my finger travelled back through time to food poison me to stop these podcasts happening? And why?
Just as my tummy started turning over a little, just an hour from the venue we hit a traffic jam so solid that people were getting out of their cars. Our sat nav was giving us no alternative route and the waiting time kept ramping up and it was clear we were behind a pretty serious accident.
We were, however, right next to an exit and so I checked my phone which suggested we’d save an hour or more if we went along A roads. We waited 20 minutes before deciding that we’d take the chance and luckily it paid off. And we got to Salford in plenty of time (for the show - just in time for the toilet).
I wasn’t expecting the kind of fireworks we’d had with RHLSTP in Leeds as the first guest tonight was the legendary and clean-living Jimmy Cricket. But just before we were about to go on an announcement came over the tannoys which I recognised as probably being one of those coded messages that something was wrong. Possibly a fire, maybe worse. I hadn’t come this far and battled blocked traffic and loose intestines to walk away just because the building was burning.
But I was told that the incident was in the other theatre and that they were happy for us to go ahead, but I shouldn’t mention the fire, so I went on. But in my preamble I could hear that a beeping alarm was going on outside of our venue and it was hard to pretend that that wasn’t happening. And also I didn’t know whether I could start the recording with this annoying background noise. So I did talk about fire a bit. But also assured everyone that we’d probably be OK. And when told I should get on with the podcast I backed off stage as if the noise was a warning to those behind me.
And Cricket and I are pros so we carried on chatting as Salford burned around us. It was a cracking interview and worth frying for, but as it turned out the incident had been quickly controlled. Someone in Jason Manford’s audience (probably regretting his choice to see the Radio Times Comedian of the Year, rather than the runner up) had dropped his phone on his seat and then somehow crushed it in the mechanism, breaking the battery which had briefly ignited. Manford, because he is a pussy, had had to postpone his show for 20 minutes. Nothing can stop me.
Jimmy had a great time with the crowd and to not love this chat I think your heart would have to be dead. He’s an impressive man who loves his job and who wants to carry on doing it for as long as the good Lord allows him, but having seen him impressively strut his stuff to a small audience in Bristol, it was awesome to see him in front of 450 people, making them laugh, groan and applaud.
I kept things dignified and respectful as the podcast me allows, which meant that I had a lot to get out in the second show, which luckily featured Sarah Millican who can give better than she gets and it was a predictably filthy and weirdly flirty 75 minutes, before I realised how late it was and had to call things to a close.
Always a pleasure to insult and be insulted by Sarah. She is used to playing much bigger venues of course, so probably enjoyed the intimacy of this theatre. I’d been listening to her audio book all the way up in the car and it’s an excellent blend of laughs and thoughtfulness, whilst never forgetting that the laughs are the important bit. What a delight to share the stage with two of the hardest working stand ups in the business and to appreciate that that hard work has made them what they are. Jimmy told me that Laurel and Hardy always insisted on the bed set from their stage show staying in the theatre overnight so that they could go in a 10am the next morning and rehearse the familiar routine again. I can’t be arsed to ever even listen back to my shows afterwards to see what I could do better. And that explains a lot.
