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Saturday 24th July 2004

CNPS numbers spotted 11 (986). Could tomorrow be the day of days? When the CNPS gods reveal the reason for me having done all this? Oh please let it be so.

A more realistic show at the Latchmere tonight with an audience of the kind of punters I am going to get. Not fan heavy, nor full of drunks itching for a fight, but norms. This would be a better test of the material.
A lot of this show rests on whether people go for the CNPS idea. I think it might be easier and quicker to explain once I have the projector and visuals working, rather than the two tatty pieces of paper which I hurriedly scrawled examples on just before my first gig over a month ago (which are only A4 size anyway and thus too small for anyone to read). I am a twat.
It seemed to take a little while to catch alight tonight, but this is partly because I am being forced to cut vast swathes of material and the tangential routines which are possibly the funniest things are also the most obvious candidates for removal. I did aout 65 minutes tonight and only got up to task 5. My fear is that the hour long version of this show will have to whisk through everything so fast that the actual comedy will suffer. It's definitely a 90 minute show.
I know I'll sort it out, but it's going to be painful to lose so much material.
On a more positive note I have not only just about gained permission to go in with the komodo dragons at London Zoo next week, but Germaine Greer has also sent me a letter. My concerns that she might be freaked out by my quest and appreciate my offer to just meet up with her and persuade her to give me her bra prove unfounded.
Rather brilliantly the little tease says, "If you have given yourself the task of stealing an undergarment of mine then you will have to do just that, I'm afraid." She suggests that she could even make this harder for me by having the zoo put in the window of a Bond Street jewellers (wigh high security) or the lion's cage at the zoo.
So I feel I now have permission to attempt a genuine theft or heist, although annoyingly I don't have much time to pull it off (so to speak). I believe Professor Greer may be in Edinburgh during the book festival, so perhaps I will aim to do something then. It's my Edinburgh task and gives me something to think about. Any ideas from any budding Thomas Crowns will be appreciated.
On the negative side it's just even more to talk about in a show that has no room.
But the gods are providing for me when all seemed lost. If only they were prepared to edit my fucking script.

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Buy the Emergency Questions book here And help fund the filming of series 11 and 12 of RHLSTP.
My new stand up show, Oh Frig I'm 50 is at the Edinburgh Fringe this August and I am also doing three RHEFPs while I am there All details of shows and previews.
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