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Monday 24th April 2017

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My solution for coping with the world is light drinking. Try and maintain a position of mild inebriation at all times and life doesn’t seem so bad. Everything shines, you feel confident and witty and your inhibitions are just in check enough to give you a good time. It’s very hard to keep constantly lightly inebriated and takes some skill to do, but practice makes perfect. You will soon learn the levels of your self-medication.
If I am honest I have only got up to about 45 minutes of each day where I’ve got it right. But boy, those 45 minutes are awesome. Admittedly, all the minutes that follow are less good as they involve tiredness and headaches and general clumsiness. But Rome wasn’t built in a day. But that’s only because everyone building it was too pissed. Is my guess.
For the second day in a row I had a lunchtime appointment and this one was all for charity, so by drinking wine I was actually probably helping save lives. Somehow. I had loads I needed to get done in the afternoon so had said I wouldn’t drink much. But I had a couple of glasses of wine and a port and that was enough to get me to mild inebriation which made lunchtime pretty enjoyable, but the rest of the day a mild struggle. I tried to top up later with a bottle of beer with dinner, but then I just fell asleep watching Dr Who. But I think that was as much to do with working late and getting up early. 
I did at least get my chores done in the afternoon, though it was a bit of a struggle. I am not sure life as a high-functioning alcoholic is for me, but since Brexit, Trump and the two years ago obvious inevitability of another 15 years of Tory rule, it might be the only way to have any kind of happiness any more. Apart from the joy given to me by my child. But screw that kind of joy. Bumbling afternoon tipsiness, when I should have been working, but because I am self-employed don’t have to, is the happiest I will ever be. Along with late night, back from a gig, drinking alone in the basement happiness. I am the happiest man alive. As long as I can always maintain the tipsiness of two drinks and no more.
May not be a long term solution.


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