At around 3.15 Simon Streeting (who was driving ahead to the Canterbury gig in a hire car) rang to tell me that the traffic on the A2 was terrible and that I might like to head off earlier than I had intended.
So I finished off the work I was doing and jumped straight in the car.The only problem was that I had just drunk a pint of ribena and a big cup of tea.
The South Circular was moving incredibly slowly. I began to panic a bit, because if this carried on right up the A2 I might be in trouble. I was also aware of a desire to urinate. But I didnÂ’t want to stop off at a pub or garage until I was sure I was well on my way.
Half an hour later and still crawling along things were a bit more desperate. I wished I had stopped at the last petrol station I’d passed. I could have parked up and found a café or bar, but didn’t fancy trying to get back into this awful queue of cars.
Nonetheless it was bad enough for me to decide I would definitely stop at the next garage. But no garage was in view. I was considering urinating in a bottle, but it was still daylight and also I thought from this seated position there was quite some danger of spillage.
Eventually a welcome Texaco sign loomed ahead and relief was soon in hand. On occasions weeing is the most pleasurable thing you can do with your penis.
Got to the gig on time. It went really well (about 180 today, itÂ’s creeping up). IÂ’ve really been enjoying the show this time round and that really helps. I found myself thinking "this is my job!" at one point. ItÂ’s great that after all this time I am still finding new things in the show, but also that I am constantly learning more about performing.
The drive back to my girlfriendÂ’s was much more fun. I love the motorways at night because they are relatively clear and you can go nice and fast. In fact, as I was cruising at 90 on the M25, I spotted (too late) a police landrover passing me in the fast lane. Luckily tonight he had better things to do than stop me. Thank God for serious law breakers!
