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Thursday 22nd November 2012

Is the pain of script-writing worth it all for that day of mild euphoria that comes once the script is handed in? I think it probably is. It's a good feeling, but one that will be forgotten when I am next stuck on a script. But I was able to relax a bit and get some tidying done and chased up some admin business.
The other day I got a delivery card from UK Mail through the door, but it didn't have any details of what they'd tried to deliver or what they'd done with it and it had no consignment number written on the card so I was unable to track it or find out where it was. I've ordered quite a few things through the post recently and there are a few outstanding so it wasn't easy for me to guess what it might be. The person I was dealing with emailed me saying I should contact the vendor for the consignment number (thought this was pretty piss poor customer services- after all it was the fault of their delivery man that I didn't have one or any idea of what or where the parcel was). One of the things as yet undelivered was this stupid bloody willy-brush and thus I had to email back the company name (which doesn't mention the brush but is called Wills Hygiene Products, which still looks pretty suspicious. It seems like the sitcom gods are conspiring to bring the maximum amount of embarrassment out of this perfectly innocent desire to possess a brush designed to remove smegma. Who would have thought that would end up being so funny?
In the end it turned out it was a different item that was missing anyway (and this morning I learn that it's been delivered somewhere and signed for by someone called Jack, hopefully my next door neighbour, though it would have been useful to have that information on the card) so I had made a man at Mail UK think that I had a dirty penis for nothing. No wonder the delivery man was cautious about actually encountering me to give me the package.
Tonight I got to do another 10 minute spot at the Hammersmith Apollo at a Friends of the Earth benefit, "Laugh or the Polar Bear Gets It". Beforehand I was interviewed by a lady dressed as a polar bear. She interviewed me last year at the same event. We greeted each other fondly, but I realised that I have no idea what she looks like without her polar bear suit on. And I wondered if she had actually been in that basement room at the Apollo for 12 months, dressed in the costume, waiting for this opportunity. Maybe she's not even anything to do with Friends of the Earth, just a crazy polar bear lady who lives in the Apollo and who can pretend she's involved when this gig coincidentally rolls around again. Maybe it's not even a costume. She's like the Elephant Man, but she's the Polar Bear Lady.
And now just two more entries and I will have completed a ten year span of Warming Up. I am sure I will write more about my feelings about this amazing/tragic achievement in the next day or so. You've all gone very quiet on your 2010 aims. I expect you're waiting until Sunday to see if you can achieve them at the last minute.

The printing issues with Fist of Fun series 2 have now been resolved and any new orders will be sent out from today. If you've already got a copy (where disc 4 has the same content as disc 3) then you will be sent a replacement disc automatically. Buy the series here and browse around the rest of the store for some great Christmas gifts!

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My new stand up show, Lord of the Dance Settee will be touring from October 2014 to May 2015 All details here.
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