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Wednesday 20th November 2019


Was excited to see that Prince Andrew was looking for a second interview opportunity today. RHLSTP would be the obvious choice for him. Though by close of play it looks like he might be taking a bit more of a back seat. What a shame.
I think he has so much honour that he’d definitely have put Epstein at the front of the Human Centipede. The  problem is that Producer Ben would almost certainly have to bleep everything Prince Andrew said about himself. Prince Andrew should probably have employed Producer Ben for the first interview.

Making tortuous process with the sitcom for Radio 4. Had hoped to have decent first drafts of the first three episodes by the end of today, but have one complete-ish and two at about two thirds. With three more to get into some kind of shape before the first read through in a fortnight. Then there’s another six weeks to lick them into shape (though I will not be working over Christmas), so I am fairly confident that it will be fine. But I am finding it painfully slow at the moment. I worked after the kids had gone to bed and that was probably my best couple of hours. I don’t know why I couldn’t pin my arse down during the daytime when I had a relatively empty house to work in,
But that’s writing for you. Will it ever change? 
I want to make 2020 a year of mainly writing. But WHY? When it hurts so much. What’s wrong with me?
And how dare I complain about having this lovely job and someone actually paying me to do it? 
Because I am a writer and that is what we do. And maybe the other things I do in my job are relatively easy, or at least not as stressful and time consuming, so it’s hard to keep going. I understand why many people become stars and then just let other people take over this part of the job, though I am still old-fashioned enough to feel that  a comedian should be writing their own material to truly qualify for the job. It’s only a loose role though. Morecambe and Wise were the greatest and they had writers. 
The only positive I can see is that the writers usually outlive the comedians. But I don’t know how that pans out for people who do both.
It was the lack of writing that was gruesome though. The failure to sit down and get on with it, the struggling to think about what I needed to do to make the scripts work. Sitting in the snug for the last couple of hours of my day and tapping away felt pretty good. Maybe I can get those two scripts into decent shape by tomorrow. But can I get three more done by December 4th?
Of course I fucking can’t, but I have to pretend.

The last pre-Edinburgh RHLSTP was released today. It’s with Vic Reeves from the gig in Canterbury all the way back in July. Man I’ve done a lot of these things in the last four months. That feels like forever ago.
And to take advantage of the marvellous offer to get 3 copies of Viz for £1 - head here
I am delighted and honoured to be sponsored by Viz for a couple of the video episodes. The magazine has had more influence on UK comedy over the last three decades than almost anything else and though of course it's not as funny as it used to be (they were saying that back in the 1980s) it's still very much worth your patronage.

Good news! The House of Games Champion of Champions week that I am on has been brought forward to week commencing 9th December due to public demand. Set your video recorders NOW to find out how I did.

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