Warming Up

I have a vision of my future where I just work one day a week and it’s to record RHLSTP. But to call it work would be a bit much. It’s also invariably my most social day of the week. Even if I have to pay my “friends” and in this case “my wife” to talk to me.

But I spent the morning watching Greg Davies “You Magnificent Beast” and crying my eyes out with joy, whilst reminding myself this was my “job” and then the evening crying my eyes out with joy at Greg’s stories of soiling himself, meeting a dick lifter and having sex with teddies, whilst we both bemoaned the horrid fate of being in our fifties (even though Greg insists that 50 is not in his 50s). It was horrendously and wonderfully childish, but I don’t think I have laughed as much in one day as I have today (at least for a good long while).

And I’d already had terrific fun talking to the Drunk Women Solving Crime and allowing the podcast character of Richard Herring to show off in front of his wife, allowing her and her brilliant friends to belittle him. As well as talk about the many crimes that I have had done against me, though keeping the ones I have committed strictly under wraps.

Two more strong podcasts in the podcast bag. I should really find something more suitable to keep them in. Like a computer.

But I’d had another opportunity to talk to a friend in front of a microphone (which is the only place I really feel comfortable talking). I had slept with one of my guests last night (though only slept because I am professional and also tired) and we’d taken the long walk of shame from Hertfordshire to Kings Cross, where I suddenly saw the unmistakably OddBod Junior figure of Ian Boldsworth crossing the plaza outside the station. He thinks we have the exact same body type and measurements. He is deluded and hasn’t noticed how slim and tall I am. I shouted at him and we chatted for a while in the light drizzle (was it raining? I hadn’t noticed). He was on his way to present his Fubar show and asked if I’d like to come along for the first half an hour. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to Fubar - not since I quit my show in embarrassment about who I was sharing a station with (Ian Boldsworth), but I though fuck it (up beyond all recognition) and went on his show, to mainly talk about him and how amazing he is (apparently), but I also showed off some of my impressions. 

It was strange to be back and even more strange to find out Fubar was still going. But Ian and Nat his producer have a nice rapport (incredible given his well-documented sexism) and it almost sounds like a proper show that you’d get on the radio. 

I was glad to see that Marion is still putting her mottos up in the loos, though not sure this one is really a motto. “If you’re running late for work, just turn up in your pyjamas and exclaim “Oh, I thought we were doing a pyjama party fundraiser.” No-one will guess you got up late.”

Though they will assume you have become mentally ill, having made up an event that was never planned and had probably never happened before. Also if you do that at the Busworks where Marion works, then all your co-workers would have read the motto and (hopefully having got over the disappointment of it not being a motto) know exactly what you’re doing. So really the “motto” should say, “When you are sacked from here and working elsewhere, here’s a tip.”

Of course given that I no longer work there this was a brilliant tip for me. Except I mainly work from home and wear my pyjamas all day anyway. And generally my pyjamas are whatever I was wearing yesterday and have passed out drunk in.

I don’t like to be nice about Ian, obviously, but he is doing fantastic work on line and creating podcasts, a movie and an amazing daily blog that he emails to you, which is especially great when he reveals what was happening backstage when he used to work as a warm up man (sadly he’s pretty much given both that and stand up up, which is a shame as he was very good at both). Anyway give him a dollar or more a month and you’ll get access to it all of it (I give him five dollars a month, but the joke’s on him, because I live in England where we use pounds so he gets nothing). Make sure you leave quite quickly and complain that he is sending too much stuff for you to read. He loves it when people do that. Or you could stay and just read some of  it. That’s what I do.

But he’s staying true to his roots and was one of the first people to ever do podcasts - he heard what I was doing and decided to copy me, his hero. And he deserves your support. Join here

Obviously only if you become a badger or dripster first though.