I was meeting a friend by the ticket barriers at Old Street tube station this evening. We were planning to go somewhere else after this, it was just a convenient meeting point. I'm not the kind of person who thinks that a great Friday evening would be to stand near some ticket barriers whilst maybe drinking a can of Cherry Tango (shared) and anyone who says I am and they've seen me doing that every Friday for the last ten years is lying.
I ascended the escalator and made for the ticket barrier that was to be the portal to my night of Cherry Tango based adventure. I put my ticket into the provided slot in time honoured fashion, but the machine refused to accept it. I tried again - still nothing. I turned the ticket the other way round, but that didn't improve things. I then looked at the ticket, as if this would solve the conundrum, but it was valid and uncrumpled and seemingly fine. Then I looked at the barrier in front of me and noticed that it was stuck on open. I made an "I am stupid" face in case anyone had seen me being unable to progress through an open gate and made my way to the other side.
I was a little early and so waited for my friend, as pre-arranged, by the barriers that had caused me so much embarrassment. Most of the barriers were operational, but the two on the end weren't working and were both continuously open.
So with nothing better to do (and with the entire can of Cherry Tango already gone- how was I going to explain that to my friend? It was my turn to bring the Cherry Tango), I stood and watched the other people coming out of the station to see if they experienced the same confusion as me.
It was interesting that practically everyone did. We are so conditioned to the fact that we put in our ticket and then the gate opens, that practically no-one noticed the glaring fact that the gate was already open. Like me, most people took at least two or three goes with their ticket before they saw the truth and like me, most of them made an "I am stupid" face upon realising their mistake, in case anyone was watching. A few of them saw that I was watching and gave me an embarrassed smile.
But the fact is that they had no need to feel stupid as 90% of people made exactly the same error and most of the other 10% only avoided it because they had happened to notice the person in front's realisation of the truth. If a group of friends came up together, the people behind the "stupid" one would laugh at their idiocy (though internally must have been secretly relieved that they hadn't come out first and consequently been the butt of the ticket/gate related laughs).
Some people were quick to realise what was going on and yet others took an incredible amount of time, reapplying their ticket in every possible combination, looking at it all confused, before finally seeing what had happened and pulling faces of excruciating embarrassment.
It was actually extremely entertaining to watch and if I didn't spend every Friday standing by ticket barriers (which I don't) then I might consider doing it from now on. It was even funnier than "You've Been Framed". Perhaps Channel Four would like to turn this idea into a series. "Friday Night at the Broken Ticket Barrier" is my suggested title.
It's interesting how we all worry so much about looking like a fool, but how in fact we all make exactly the same foolish mistakes. And how even when we've made the mistake ourselves we choose to laugh at others doing exactly the same thing, as if that could never happen to us. That ticket barrier was a metaphor for the human condition - which is mostly comprised of embarrassment.
My friend arrived and I was quite disappointed to leave the fun behind. Maybe if I hadn't greedily quaffed all the fizzy pop I could still be there now. Laughing at the idiots (who were only idiots for imagining that they were idiots).
Anyone who wants to join in the fun, meet me by the ticket barriers of Old Street tube next Friday at 8pm.
NB Please bring your own can of Cherry Tango (one between two).
