Every year, around Christmas, it has become tradition for a certain group of men who I was at college with to meet up for a drink and a meal. After a furious burst of e mails late last month we finally settled on a day we could all attend and it was tonight. Last year I have confidently predicted that one of us would die in the forthcoming twelve months and that there would be an empty seat around the table. As it happened Tim couldn't make it as his wife has just had a baby, so in a sense, my prediction was doubly wrong, as far from dying, one of us had created a new life.
We have been doing this for years (though I think possibly in the first couple of meetings women also attended - I know it sounds ridiculous, but we were young and foolish) and it is another firm indicator of the passing of years. I have known these men for 15 years, since they were 18 or 19. And now look at us.
The effects of a decade and a half of life were put into sharp relief for me, because earlier that afternoon, Stew and me went to University College, London to be interviewed for student TV. They were all so young, so fresh-faced. I had a glimpse of Christmas past, seeing what we had all been, and then was plunged into Christmas present, with greying and receding hair, increasing stomachs and even the onset of hearing problems.
Though far from being depressing, it is also rather comforting. To have good friends who still meet up regularly, who still get on, can still laugh together and get drunk together and be foolish together and support each other through our triumphs and disasters. A rather sweet exchange of e mails began on our drunken return home, and carried on to the next morning, with genuine affection expressed without any embarrassment.
Mackay had the idea of recording each year with photos from now on, something that we stupidly never thought of before, as it would be great to see concrete evidence of the toll each year has taken.
And in another 15 years, in Christmas future I hope we are still doing it, though families and work and death may mean some of us can't make it. Tony said if he dies he'd like the urn containing his ashes to be brought along. I added that we should put them in a pepper grinder and add some to each of our meals. Gaining strength from each other in life and death.
