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It’s day 100 without booze or chocolate (and next to no crisps) and I am 11.6kgs (25lbs) lighter than when I started and aside from two dreams where I have been drinking booze before remembering that I’m not meant to be, I haven’t missed it at all. Not been hungry, still eating loads and it’s been utterly painless. I don’t know how long I will push on with this, though my inclination is to think that I’ve had more than my share of booze and chocolate in the first half of my life (planning to live to 104) and now it’s time to give someone else a go.
We’ll see.
But I didn’t have any target in mind when I started this and wasn’t even really intending to give up entirely, so maybe I’ll keep having no target and see how far that gets me. Hopefully to my target of never drinking or eating chocolate again.
Hey Alexa, if someone is cancelling a 5.30am alarm at 5.10am in a whisper, it’s probably cos they don’t want to wake their partner. So don’t confirm the cancellation at a volume louder than the alarm would have been.
And yes, I am aware there’s an app on my phone, but I didn’t think of that at 4.45am (and sort of assumed that the thing would know not to make a loud noise at that time) and also I couldn’t remember my log in details anyway.
And I can’t remember the last time I had to set an alarm, as not only do I pretty much always wake up super early anyway, I have my stupid son as a back up snooze button.
Anyway I took advantage of the early wake up (and I think my wife got back to sleep) to get to the train station before almost anyone else to get a train to London Bridge as I was on the Chris Evans (that one) show just after 8. I was there an hour early, but feeling full of beans thanks to having gone to bed at 9.30pm - so still managing 7 hours (take off a bit for night time wee trips).
I have met Chris Evans (not not that one) a couple of times before, but don’t think he would remember who I was, but he was very friendly and spontaneous. He took some risks like playing bird song for what felt (in radio terms) like ages and allowing some dead air as he told Tassos about Malcolm Hardee’s heckle put down (which involved putting his penis in their drink). The upbeat nature of morning radio makes it all feel like craziness, but as I know, when you’ve pretended to be crazy for a while, then there’s a danger you might really become so. But if your job is to be crazy then that’s not necessarily a bad thing. In some ways it felt like he was a student who’d been given his own radio studio to play with and was just dicking around. And I mean that as a compliment. Because it’s hard to maintain that level of mild anarchy for some many mornings over so many decades.
We chatted about my booze abstinence and Marathon running and he told me my eyes were shining with health enough times for me to think I might be in there. And I met Mike Gatting in the waiting area. So that was an interesting start to the morning, when I’d usually have been picking scrambled egg off the floor at home.
I then had an interview at LBC before having a bit of time to kill before doing a recording for Greg Jenner’s new podcast about history (we were talking about Stonehenge, though luckily there was a very knowledgeable expert on hand, as my theory was that it might have been built by cats - you never know). This one’s out in a few months, but I think the series will be worth a listen.
It was nice to have a couple of hours in between to wander aimlessly round London and look at the shops with no real intent to buy anything. These freedoms I once took so for granted that I did not appreciate how wonderful they were. If you are still free then take a step back and enjoy it.
I enjoyed returning to my jailers though. The chains are made of love and snot.
RHLSTP with Peter Lord and Morph is now up
Starting to announce a few guests for the upcoming RHLSTP gigs. Keep checking
this page for more
May 11th Leeds City Varieties - Mark Charnock and Dominic Brunt from Emmerdale + TBA
May 25th Lowry, Salford - Sarah Millican + TBA
July 14th Henley Festival - Barry Cryer (one guest)
September 29th Richmond Theatre - The Boy With Tape On His Face + TBA
