Fest review of Talking Cock

Richard Herring: Talking Cock

By Stevie Martin | Published 03 August 2012

Herring wants you to praise the penis. Again. Sporting a sharp suit, massive projector and impressive arsenal of willy synonyms, Talking Cock returns with Herring giving the penis centre stage through the medium of hard (wahey) facts gathered from a survey of around 10,000 people all answering varying questions about their manhoods.

This is a strong offering from the seasoned pro, zipping through a hell of a lot of stats and facts punctuated by his own reactions to the often hysterical answers from the general public. However, there's so much going on that it feels almost too fast-paced and, at times, reeling off Cock Fact after Cock Stat leaves barely any room, oddly, for Herring himself. Yes, his seminar is laced with knob gags, but you've barely time to register them. The second half is where the balance between him as a standup and him as a phallic-obsessed, breakneck-paced lecturer starts to settle.

Here, he works through promiscuity, gender differences and The Dreaded Size Situation in more detail, using the stats to inform and back up his opinions as opposed to acting as an amusing aside. Such focus gives his routines, musings and throwaway lines space to breathe, allowing the show to hit its stride. All the elements come (wahey) together for an intelligent, poignant climax (sorry) that doesn't try to answer such universal questions, only impress upon us all the importance of celebrating the Spam Javelin. And why women should stop laughing hysterically when a man can't get it up.