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Wednesday 20th June 2007

Not a single Flumps passed my lips today. I knew I'd beat this. Thanks for your support at this difficult time. I would like to thank my wife and children for standing by me at this difficult time. But you know, I can't, because selfishly my wife has yet to marry me and even more selfishly my children are refusing to be born. But when you are addicted to Flumpses it really is a kind of blessing to be childless. "At least he had no kids".

So I have had no news as yet on the potential series of "You Can Choose Your Friends" or "Double Act". I suspect in these cases no news is bad news, but it's still a bit too early to be sure. I am in a slightly weird position where I could find myself having to write up to sixteen hour long drama scripts in the next year or no drama scripts, all dependent on the decision of faceless men in suits (they aren't literally faceless, as this would make them very bad judges of scripts having no eyes to read them or ears to hear them or mouths to give their verdict - though many executives I have encountered might as well have no face, for all the good that their existing face does them).
If either series is commissioned I will still have plenty to do and won't starve, but if both come through it will be life-changing, both in terms of how much work I will have to do, how my career will develop and I suppose how much money I would earn.
There is a part of me that doesn't want to have to do all that work and would be quite happy if neither thing happened and there is also a part of me that has had enough disappointments in the past and is expecting the worst, so I don't think I would be devastated if nothing comes of either project. It's just the not knowing that is unsettling. It would be nice to plan ahead. But that isn't the way with the career I have chosen for myself. But it's just interesting how much rests on two decisions, two essential coin tosses. Probably what would be best for my mental health and a balanced life is I got one head and one tails, because both all and nothing might be too much to cope with.
Somewhere my future is being decided by people without faces. Just heads that they shake or nod with randomly. But I enjoy the random nature of life.
If you throw enough scripts at the wall, some of them will stick.

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