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Wednesday 11th December 2019


Super exciting House of Games today, where I again built up a lead, then almost lost it, but for once pulled an Answer Smash out of the bag for Lorraine Kelly’s Heroes and won eternal life via a pendant (which to be fair I haven’t worn again, but I still haven’t died). In the end, of course, I will learn that eternal life is a punishment not a reward (hence the arseholey manner in which God acts) but for now I am delighted that I will never die. All thanks to Richard Osman.
I watched the show whilst walking the dog and doing a casual late night stone clear. The future is an amazing place. Watching myself winning a pendant in a dark field.
Still plenty of time for me to fuck it up at the last minute. It’s all that you would expect from me.

I had already done a stone clear in the morning, which was recorded for your pleasure. Warning, I do a wee part way through this one. And then a fart later on. Trigger warning for people who don’t want to listen to an old man weeing on a stone. And remember you do not have my permission to masturbate to Stone Clearing.
My efforts to stop Brexit by throwing stones into a ditch continues. I put loads in today, just to try and ensure that Boris Johnson ends up with another hung parliament. It’s the only realistic result that can save us now. But even though I have never doubted the ditch before, there is a niggle in the back of my mind that it might not have the power to stop the inevitable. I feel there are more twists and turns for Brexit whichever way the election goes. I trust in the ditch. But if you have a Stop Brexit ditch as well, best load it with stones just in case.
My ultimate feeling though is that the best way to stop Brexit is to let it happen and then when it all fucks up, go back on bended knee and beg to be let back in again. 
I can’t see the option for that on the ballot paper though.
I allowed myself to contemplate the hope of a hung parliament today.  I know that it’s going to be a 30+ majority for Boris Johnson really, but it’s the hope that kills you.
Get out and vote. It will make no difference, but it might help away which Russian backed PM we end up with.

RHLSTP with Simon Evans is now here - 

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