Hammersmith and Fulham Council who take my council tax off me to spend on schools and hospitals and street cleaning (I don't think this is fair as I have no kids and am never ill and like the streets being dirty) do a recycling collection (which I do use). You are encouraged to put paper, glass and plastic bottles into an orange sack which is collected weekly.

There are, however, many recycleable items that they specifically say they won't collect. These include all other types of plastic, which means that all cartons and microwaveable dishes and yoghurt cartons (not that I have more of those than an average home) have to be thrown into the regular rubbish.

Recently a friend informed me that there are recycling bins at Tesco's where all such items can be deposited. So I have been putting all my plastic items in separate bags and it's amazing what proportion of my weekly junk can actually be reused. My outside dustbin is usually overflowing at this time of the week, but it's only actually half full.

It's at times like this that one realises how much unnecessary rubbish we throw away. It's a shame the council don't take this stuff as it would make the process a lot easier, but it's surely worth the slight inconvenience of doing it ourselves. Although I am pretty sure that the world is fucked and we're pissing in the wind, I hope that everyone will try their best to slow this process of self destruction down (so that at least I will be dead before it all kicks off properly).

And you may find you are unexpectedly rewarded for your goodness. Earlier in the week I looked into my dustbin and saw that someone had deposited a DVD in there. It was face down, and out of its case, so I couldn't see what it was, but when I picked it up I saw it was something called "Lusty Asians". Lusty Asians are one of my especial interests - not just Asians, I am not racist. I like lusty people of all nations. But who put it in my bin and who would have known it would be something I am interested in?

My only realistic guess is that the bin pixies have left it there as a reward for my new 50% cut-down in garbage production. If not them, the only other possible candidate would be the bin fairies. I am not sure whether the pixies or the fairies are chiefly in charge of soft pornography distribution. But if it was made clearer that people who did their own recycling would get night-time deliveries of poor quality sex films then maybe the world wouldn't be such a mess.

Not that I watched the film. I am just guessing. It looked a bit dirty (the actual disc itself. I am hoping the the contents would be dirty) I do not watch second hand pornography. Not any more.

So if the bin fairies or pixies or gonks are reading this, if you want to reward me for promoting recycling can you please just post the porn through my letterbox, preferrably still in its box. And Lusty Dutch would be my first choice title.

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