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Sunday 9th December 2018

Sunday 9th December 2018

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I clean shaved for the first time in a couple of years last night. Just my face. I don't want you having to imagine my scrawny old genitals shorn of all hair. Oh you just have. Ha ha ha. I did want that really and now it's happened. You imagining it I mean. I've got a 1970s bush down there which basically obliterates my shrivelled old limp wee-flap. And now you've thought about that too. If only I could get aroused still then I would be.
Sorry.
My wife kissed me on my mouth, now unencumbered by stubble and said she felt like she was having an affair. But how would she know what that feels like? Plus she knows all about parachuting. I am closing in our you, Mr Clean-shaven Parachutist. 
Strange to see my fat face again, but it looks better than I thought it would. I think I stopped being clean shaven because it made me look younger and because my girlfriend at that time said it made me look sexier. I think she was right and though our relationship was a disaster I do have to thank her for helping make me look like a viable option for others, plus being such a nightmare that I decided never to put up with someone who treated me madly and badly again. 
But now I am 51 and married to a woman who seems to prefer my lips without bristles, it’s probably better to look a bit younger. Will I be arsed to go through the rigmarole of shaving every day (or even every couple of days)? Probably not. Though seeing my fat face properly might give me an incentive to lose some weight. Or depress me so much that I eat more.

I recorded Stone Clearing Chapter 5 on my morning dog walk (it's up here), which turned out to have quite a few discussion points and events, from marking your territory to a dog with dementia to the Heavens showing their pleasure at what I am doing.
On the lunchtime walk I cleared a few more stones and stopped to photograph the progress of the main cairn, which you can view as an animated gif courtesy of @ahaufstop
It’s getting a bit too big possibly. It might attract the attention of the authorities or the anti-stone clearly community or the farmer. It’s hard to resist the glory of creating this semi-wall, but maybe I would be better building up slowly all the way round the field, so that by the time anyone notices what is going on it’s too late. At the moment we’re still in the no-man’s land betwixt nuisance and eye-sore and work of art and potential tourist attraction. I don’t want to blow this now. 
But I won’t stop. Even under threat of court order. If they dismantle my mound then I shall simply deposit the stones in a more clandestine fashion. The squares stopping my work will be dead before what I am doing becomes apparent again. So will I sadly. But the stones shall know that which I hath done.

More child care today, but the kids were mainly delightful and I spent most of the day laughing. My daughter is doing her school Christmas concert tomorrow and treated me to a rendition of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas" whilst pumping her arm up and down. It was lovely and also hilarious, especially as she thinks the last line is “And a Happy Ooo eee”. It’s good, but it’s no Lord of the Dance Settee. She’s not going to get a stand up show out of that one.


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