Warming Up

I took my daughter to her gym class today. On the way we passed a huge pile of horse poo, in a heap in a field. “Poo!” shouted my daughter, because she is immature. “So much poo!” I confirmed, “And the thing is it’s just one big poo, by one giant horse.”

Phoebe ran with the idea and told me the horse that had done the poo reached up to the sky, that’s how big it was. I told her it had licked the sun and burned its tongue. We improvised a whole story about the massive horse and its gigantic poo. I’ve waited three years to be in this golden period of giant horse poo, but man, it makes everything that went before worth it.

She’s not always able to express herself. She kept saying something over and over again. I thought it sounded like “I’m tired”, but Phoebe would say “No!” and repeat it. I came up with some other possible interpretations, but each one was incorrect. “Why are you saying it wrong?” she asked. In the end I managed to work out she was saying, “It’s quiet”.  We got there. 

At the gym we went to see if the duck that has been nesting there for the last few weeks was still there. But she had gone and the place she’d been sitting was now empty. But there were some bits of broken egg. “Where have they gone?” asked Phoebe. 

“They’ve flown away together,” I said.

“But baby birds can’t fly,” she reasoned. She had a point. Where had they gone? And how had they got there? She’d later go and pick up a bit of egg shell to take home for her mum. Another worthless, priceless present.

I’ve been seeing rabbits all over the place over the last few days. We looked out for them on the way home, but the little fuckers were hiding away. We saw some horses and then some sheep. “Look some sheep!” I cried, as if that made up for the lack of rabbits. “I’ve seen them already,” replied my daughter with disdain. She hadn’t said anything at the time, but we’d passed them on the way out.

I wish I could drive this 3 year old around forever, making up stories about horses that lick the sun and burn their tongue and looking for elusive animals.

Off to Bristol, driving myself like in the old days. Aside from a bit of bad traffic I enjoyed the trip. Nice to be back at the Tobacco Factory, which I haven’t played for a couple of years. I’d done one big Bristol gig last year, but this one had still sold out. Bristolians are my people. If you add the two shows together Bristol is my best selling location of the tour.

Always a great time here and the audience didn’t disappoint. I was a bit distracted in the second half, but still brought the fifth last show of the tour home. 

Then back home to Cheddar for my last night away for this tour. Good to see the Aged Ps who welcomed their rude and ungrateful son again. The Prodigal Son has nothing on me. They had the central heating on, which I thought was a bit much, but it was a weird May night, with weird lightning flashing in the distance all the way home. I hope it didn’t hit any giant horses. You don’t want to make those things shit themselves.