Christmas Eve ended nicely in a country pubs with beams in the ceiling and a pint of Guinness followed by a much too big glass of whiskey. It'd had been a relaxing day, starting with a long lie-in after a much needed sleep. I had, of course, given up on the outside chance that I could finish my script and gave myself over to the eating, drinking, telly watching and socialising that must come with this season. It is what Jesus would have wanted. In fact I think it was mean of him not to invent TV when he was down here so the people of 0AD (I know there's no such year) could have celebrated his birth in style. Most TV seemed to be adaptations of A Christmas Carol to be fair, which might not have made sense to the people of Bethlehem. And if the first thing they'd seen had been the frankly awful Jim Carey animated version than TV would probably not have taken off at all. Jesus knew what he was doing. He held back on the technological advances that he could have instigated for a good reason. Ditto the medical knowledge he must have had had to be kept secret (apart from occasional specific leper curings and Lazarus risings) because... I don't know why. What made Jesus keep this stuff to himself? He must have had a good reason. Perhaps he was waiting for a time when such things would be financially lucrative. His dad had sent him down too soon before any kind of meaningful economy had kicked in.
A man on Twitter, full of the Christmas spirit decided to contact me. Reading his timeline it is clear he'd got drunk and decided to make mischief, but I decided to give him a chance. After all Scrooge managed to change from being a prick around this time of year. I'd give him the same opportunity.
He had started by saying, "You were in Edinburgh a few years ago with a Hitler tash. I chose not to watch you, you fascist, racist, brown shirted bastard." It had taken him an awful long time to build up the courage to make this accusation. My usual inclination with Twitter now is to immediately block someone who is so rude, though I sometimes like to give them a chance to apologise or point out they were joking. My wife said I should ignore him, but in the Yuletide spirit I decided to reply "Maybe you should have watched the show before making such assumptions. Happy Christmas." I got a lot of such idiocy about Christ on a Bike from people who hadn't seen it but who had decided what it was going to be like, but only rarely with the Hitler show. The man/boy replied "Why would I fund culturally insensitive acts? What would me/the World get from that?"
It's a good point and well made. I am sure the world would be massively affected by him paying £12 to see that show. There wasn't room to discuss how he was able to work out if a show was culturally insensitive if he hadn't seen it so instead I tweeted, "presume you boycott Chaplin films for same reason?"
Of course he both had the moustache and did a film about Hitler.
The drunk man replied, "No historian, but pretty sure Chaplin's work predated that of Hitler's. Having a right-wing face became morally abhorrent." I love the idea of me having a right-wing face, but of course my show was about this very issue as to why a moustache should be associated with Hitler and not any of the many other people who had it. This man was exploring by tweet the very issues that the culturally insensitive show he was being offended by had covered. Where did this leave him, morally speaking? He might have to boycott himself and call himself a bastard. "That was what the show was about though," I told him, hoping he might pick up this irony. But he didn't.
"Exactly, I don't fund shows about moral repugnance. Call me left-wing, but fascism's not funny. You ought-to consider this." It was nice of him to point this out to me. Because in the year I took to write and perfect that show I had never for a second considered that fascism and the work of the Nazis hadn't been wall to wall laughs. As patronised as I had been by this rude stranger who was judging me based on something he was imagining in his own head I replied, "Watch the show and then will discuss. I am left wing too. So is the show. Laughing at fascism is good way to defeat it."
He was having none of it. Although I had attempted to engage in a discussion he wasn't going to bother listening to anything I wanted to say. In a sense he was like Hitler. I can't view his reply as his account is now apparently suspended, but it was something along the lines of the fact that joking about fascism always reinforces and supports it, which was such utter bollocks that I decided to do what my wife said I should have done straight away and blocked him.
I had enjoyed the exchange though and the fact that this cocksure young man was arguing so vociferously and blindly whilst claiming the moral high ground. And I had failed to transform Scrooge. Or he had. Depending on your perspective.
And it gave me a blog for a quiet day. If you'd like to see the show before making your mind up about what it might be about then
you can buy it here. If you have Netflix and just want to see the show (you won't get the extras) then the show is also on there.
