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Thursday 19th April 2018

5623/18643

I love watching my daughter's sense of humour develop. It's pretty much surpassed mine in sophistication already. This morning she was eating cereal and asked for a fork. We questioned why she needed a fork and I don't know whether she realised her mistake and found a way out or if this was all a big set up. "I just joking!" she said. It was a good one. Then she asked for some coffee and when I offered her mine she said, "I just joking." She did it four or five times (she'll learn about the rule of three in time) and ended with the classic "I want poo fart". But don't worry, she followed it up with her catchphrase, "I just joking". They were excellent jokes.


Henley on Thames tonight, a ridiculously posh town with its own massive Teddy Bear shop (that’s how I judge poshness). I had just heard that George Clooney lives nearby and wondered if he might turn up to hear me eviscerate his Nespresso ad and his testudine lips.
It was a beautiful sunny day (I am a bit concerned that the Dartmouth gig on Sunday, once postponed because of the snow, will be further hampered by the blistering heat) and people were drinking beers in the sunshine and I really fancied joining them. Maybe I could do one gig on the tour pissed out of my skull. It was only Henley. Who would ever know?
I hardly ever drink before or during a gig any more. In my younger days I might go on after a couple of pints and with Lee and Herring we usually had drinks on the go in the second half of our shows. But I have increasingly recognised that even one drink can dull the senses and make you ever so slightly blunter and screw up your timing.
But fuck it. We got there early so I went to grab some food. Usually I have a sandwich or a panini, but I sat down in an open front cafe and had steak and frites and a large glass of Malbec. My plan was then to drink a large glass of white wine, as everyone knows that white cancels out red.
I was surprised how drunk the one glass of wine made me feel, but I still had two hours to show time and I quickly sobered up. I did play the gig slightly differently that usual, but not sure if that was the situation or the dregs of the wine or me kidding myself I was mildly pissed. I played it a bit angrier and a bit more unhinged than usual, which was helpful as the audience was quite polite and shockable and I sensed that more of them than usual had no idea who I was. It was a good size crowd for a place that I have only played once before (as part of the Regatta entertainment) and then only to a smattering of people. But I think many of them were supporting their local theatre by coming to see whatever was on.
Anyway, I felt like I did the show better than usual, so will be drinking heavily from now on pre-gig. Hooray!
I just joking.


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