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Sunday 18th March 2018

5591/18611

I am not sure how I did it, but I got to the end of today without feeling like I wanted to be wiped off the face of the planet.  My wife gave me something of a lie-in, but then she was shooting off til the afternoon, leaving me to cook a roast dinner for four adults and two kids. Whilst looking after two kids.
The thing is that parenthood is such a thing that you just have to accept these kinds of challenges and that your life will never go back to lazy Sunday morning lie-ins (well if you’ve left it as late to breed as I have), but it still hurts. And this was not the day off that I probably required in the middle of such a busy time. I have only been looking a day or so ahead in my schedule, so this cruel end to the month of March has come as a bit of shock to me.
The worst thing about looking after little children whilst trying to cook a meal is you don't know how to juggle the spinning plates (but you are expected to combine those disciplines)  without endangering the lives of your children. My daughter refused to come into the kitchen, so I had to leave her watching TV whilst my son bounced in the bouncer and hope that today wasn’t the day that she tried to find out if he could still breathe with a cushion over his face.
But somehow I not only got through it, but I got through the day and even bath time feeling pretty much OK. Maybe I’ve just got Stockhausen Syndrome and am used to the punishing schedule. Or maybe I am already dead and bound to this earth as a ghost, unable to feel fatigue any longer. 
It’s possible I am just a superman. But it might be too early to call it. Let’s check in again next Sunday and see how things are going for little Richy.
Our friends have a daughter of roughly Phoebe’s age and she came dressed as Elsa, which I thought might be a problem giving that Phoebe insists that she is Elsa (and Spider-Man), but it didn’t ruffle any feathers. Luckily also they had brought a spare Elsa dress with them, just in case, so there were two Elsas (though Phoebe graciously took on the role of Anna for the day). Fascinating to see sociability developing, also the gamut of emotions that a friendship like this goes through in an afternoon. There was laughing and singing and some very impressive displays of petulant bottom lips, but there’s no denying that once you’re three you’re your own person.  And there is no denying that my daughter is objectively the best 3 year old in the world. Sorry to the other three year olds. You’re just not as good. I am not biased either, as my son is only in the top 3 million 5 month olds. Frankly he’s a bit of a dick who thinks that smiling at everyone sweetly is enough to get him through life. Well bad luck bucko. I tried that. And once you’re 28 people just think you’re weird.


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