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Monday 16th July 2018

5710/18730

There was a picnic at Phoebe’s nursery school this lunchtime and I got to witness my own little Secret Life of Three Year Olds as I watched how this group of infants thrown together by geography interacted with each other. Play is still an unstructured whirlwind at this age and the kids were out in an unfamiliar bit of the school, where there was some nettles and an unlit camp fire and they threw themselves into the danger. 
One hopes as a parent that your kid will be sociable and liked by all - I don’t know why as this isn’t something you’d genuinely wish for yourself - but you want to think they will be happy and liked and not bullied or isolated. I think really you’re mainly projecting: remembering or misremembering your now experiences and insecurities. But three year olds are not yet on that treadmill. Sometimes they played together and sometimes they drifted off alone. They were happy either way. My daughter has an impressive confidence. She called me over to look at the fire (that they were now all imagining was lit) and tried to stop all the other kids playing so that she could introduce me. “Everyone, everyone, stop.” Of course, they didn’t. But I felt honoured that she tried and that she wanted to let them know who I was.
One of the older boys had occasionally figured in Phoebe’s conversations where she said he liked pushing the younger kids around, so I was ready to meet him and beat him up. But he turned out to be charming and friendly and pretty much wrapped around my daughter’s finger. She threw here teddy bear in the air (it was a teddy bear’s picnic) as she stood on a stump and he dutifully collected it so that she could do the same again. It was sweet. And made me wonder if maybe my daughter was the pusher, not the pushee. But at this age you are all things. And remember the slights and not when you have slighted.
A few of the kids were moving on to big school. Phoebe said that she was here for another year, but then announced (in the middle of the ceremony she was not involved with) that she was going to a different school, not in the village. This was news to me. As long as she drives herself then that’s cool with me.
So far so good for her I think. It’s a shame that self-consciousness must kick in though. I was much more awkward and shy with the other parents than she was with their progeny. Is parenting just a constant wish that your child won’t turn out like you?

If you want to pre-order the new Emergency Questions book then give your money to Chris Evans (not that one) not Ian Amazon and buy it here. Out in October. The perfect Christmas gift. Buy one for everyone in the world.



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