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Friday 13th September 2019

6117/19046

Three days ago I received a piece of email in my Junk folder entitled “Video of you” plus a password that I used to use sometimes.
The sender claimed to have installed malware on my computer as a result
"My malware gave me full access and control over your computer, meaning, I got access to all your accounts (see password above) and I can see everything on your screen, turn on your camera or microphone and you won't even notice about it.”
It then added â€œ I collected all your private data and I RECORDED YOU (through your webcam) SATISFYING YOURSELF!”
This was terrifyingly plausible, because in a moment of weakness, many years ago, I looked at a picture of a bare lady on the internet and touched my own winkle. I wouldn’t say I was satisfied by the encounter - if anything after a brief moment of happiness I felt empty and less happy than I had been before, suddenly disappointed in myself for finding the degrading image stimulating. I pledged never to look at another picture of a naked woman and only touch my shameful penis when necessary - whilst  urinating or having my monthly wash.
And I have stayed true to that resolution and never again used my computer for any kind of sexual gratification. And anyone who says I have and they have multiple videos of me grimacing whilst furiously gripping my unimpressive member are lying.
But clearly, I had got unlucky and this one time I had succumbed to base desires had been captured by an unscrupulous blackmailer. He must have to do this a million times to find the one Onanist who uses the internet in this way and I admire his (or her) persistence and sense of divine justice.
"After that I removed my malware to not leave any traces.” The blackmailer conveniently continued, before then laying out their revenge for my reckless slaughter of innocent semen, "I can send the video to all your contacts, post it on social network, publish it on the whole web, including the darknet, where the sick people are.”
Not the sick people. I thought I was the sick one. But apparently on the dark web there are some even sicker people who would get some pleasure from images of my face at the point of orgasm. 
Anyway the email then laid out various ways that I could pay the person £1000 to stop this being published.  I had two days to comply and even though all the malware was now removed they could still see that I had read the email. Then they promised "After receiving the payment, I will remove everything and you can life your live in peace like before.” And I could surely take them at their word over that.

I was pretty sure this was just a vague punt at extortion. After all, if they really had the footage and were targetting me specifically they could have included a screen shot of my contorted face and maybe a description of the disgusting pornography that I had looked at on that ONE occasion.
But they did know that old email that I don’t think I use anywhere now. How could they have got that? I mean from some kind of data breach or from some web page I’d signed up for. If I am honest after that one look at pornography, which I;d just chanced across, I had been desperate to find more, but however hard I searched I couldn’t find the secret areas of the internet where it is kept. So I may have signed up for some pages that looked promising and maybe they had phished my details from that.

Anyway, I had to decide if I was going to pay up and end this nightmare (surely no one would be so dishonest as to then demand more money) or accept that in two days everyone in my address book and who followed me on social media was going to see some images of me wanking off. And whilst I don’t particularly want that to happen (well not everyone, obviously there’s a few people I’d love to see that)  IU also didn’t want to pay that much money to stop it. So I made the decision to let it go and allow people to have a look at the video if that was what they were into. And though many of them would be shocked that I had once touched my own penis in a failed attempt at satisfying myself, I think most of them wouldn’t fancy looking at it. So I didn’t do anything.
Imagine my disappointment when the appointed day arrived and no one got the video.  Or if they did, have not had the politeness to send me a review.

I’m thinking of sueing this person for false advertising.


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