Bookmark and Share

Tuesday 13th November 2012

The problem with staying in and working (comparatively) hard is that very little amusing happens to me. I am about halfway through the radio script of Gorgeous with two days to try and cobble together the rest. It feels like a big improvement already, but I have little idea what will be happening next. I prefer to write this way, though it's an inefficient use of time. I like to be surprised by what comes next rather than plotting it out in advance. But in a half hour opening episode it's hard to do too much more than introduce the characters and a bit of jeopardy. I am having fun channeling the 18 year old me for one of the characters and continue to read my diaries from the time to remind myself of what I was like.
And I see that today is the 29th anniversary of the first time I properly snogged my first girlfriend. Incredibly we were four months into our relationship at this stage - we used to wait in those days. And when I say we, I mean me and my girlfriend, everyone else was at it like rabbits. And when I say me and my girlfriend I really mean my girlfriend. I was keen to do as much kissing and touching as possible, but she had somehow managed to resist the temptation, for the best part of the whole 3 year relationship. I admire her resolve. It must have been tough for her due to how highly attractive I was.
But on 13th November 1983 we sat in the back row of the Wells Odeon- the same cinema where a year or so earlier my friends and I had somehow snuck into a soft porn film (coincidentally the subject of the coming Friday's Metro column). I see from my diary that we were there to watch Octopussy (which sounds much more like a porn film than the unimaginatively titled "The Other Cinderella"). For any 16 year old awkward and virginal Romeos out there it appears the key to my success was that I had given my girlfriend a red rose from my dad's garden. Let's just say that romance works. As I report "we kept kissing for long times and it was absolutely terrific." I hope I didn't say that to her at the time. I haven't learned too much else about romance in the last three decades but I don't think girls would like to be kissed and then told that that was absolutely terrific. Maybe I am wrong, maybe they'd enjoy such Famous Five like enthusiasm.
My diary from the mid-80s is pretty much obsessed with this frustrating, yet sweet relationship. It lasted nearly three more years, on and off and I did not get close to losing my virginity (and I assume she didn't either but you never know). My shallowness throughout is not even slightly hidden. I talk about us nearly breaking up whenever she's holding back on the light petting stakes and am hopelessly happy and optimistic about our future when we've been fooling around. As I say in this entry, "I can't really see us splitting up now. Whoopee!" Again, whoopee probably not a word that women want to hear. The rose was a cool move. I should just have kept quiet and who knows what might have happened.
It makes me feel both happy and sad to be reading this stuff back. But I am thankful that I wrote about it all at the time and annoyed that I stopped writing the diary at some crucial times (presumably when I was actually doing some other stuff so didn't really have time). And I am thankful that the teenage me was such a hopeless fool because I don't have to do any work on inventing a character. I wish I was less of a fool now, but then maybe I should be grateful that this self-indulgent gravy train continues onward.

And after a little bit of back and forth with BBC Worldwide and a few editorial cuts at their insistence Fist of Fun series 2 is now available from Go Faster Stripe. It's packed with extras and fills four discs. Be lovely if you wanted to buy it.
You can also get Fist of Fun series 1 from the same website, plus all of my other DVDs, including What is Love, Anyway?.
We're hoping to get the second volume of Warming Up: The Box Lady and Other Pesticles printed up in time for Christmas, but it will also be available on Kindle. I'll let you know about that.

Bookmark and Share

My new stand up show, Lord of the Dance Settee will be touring from October 2014 to May 2015 All details here.
Buy a season pass to Meaning of Life, or make a donation for a badge, either one off or monthly at
You can watch most of the RHMOL shows for free on my vimeo channel
Buy tickets to Richard Herring's Leicester Square Theatre Podcast from the LST website
You can download the audio for free from the British Comedy Guide or iTunes
You can subscribe to this blog on Kindle. Now only 99p a month here. Or just carry on reading it on here for free.

Also on your kindle (or any smart phone or tablet with the kindle app) catch up on the early years of Warming Up (with extra retrospective additions) with Bye Bye Balham and The Box Lady and Other Pesticles (only £3.53 each)