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I hope whoever it was who decided that Lego would diversify and start making pieces which are essentially the size of dust, will spend the rest of eternity having to pick the fucking things off the boiling floor of Hell. Lego should not go smaller than the 2 by 2 block that’s half the size of a regular block. I am wasting my life away picking up tiny little nodules that once maybe served as Batman’s ankle or Moana’s boat’s barnacle, but which are now pretty much useless bits of debris that I dream of just hoovering up and blasting into space.
The only problem with Lego should be that it cripples you when you stand on it, so observational comedians can do a 45 second bit about that. Lego doesn’t need two things to observe about it. I don’t want this extra 45 second bit (even if it becomes my Man Drawer moment), I want 5 minutes a day of my life back.
In case you haven’t worked it out I tidied up the Lego tonight as I was planning to hoover the floor tomorrow (of course in between the kids getting up and going to school they played Lego again, so I’ve just had to pick it all up again).
Another run of just over 10 miles today (16.3km) with a couple of monster hills to contend with. It was four weeks since the last long run (due to holidays and dizziness) but we came home in 101 minutes and 50 seconds, which is OK, especially as we both felt listless when we set off. A herd of cows was sat across the path we were running on at one point and we had to divert around them. I was wearing a red top and started to worry that there might be a bull in the field which might encourage me to pick up the pace. But luckily the cows left us alone.
We passed a building that boasted that it was Something or other Bottom Farm and I wondered about knocking on the door and asking if I could buy some fresh bottoms. I didn’t have time for my brilliant joke.
It’s super hard to run through all these stony local fields and not stop to clear stones too, but I have to resist the compunction.
In any case things are looking good for the run (which is not less than two months away).
I looked after the kids for the late afternoon again and we made a blackberry and apple crumble. Well I did. The kids used their blackberries to make witches’ brews and do experiments. I did, to be fair, tell them they could do anything I liked with them. I didn’t expect my daughter to put them inside her flip flops and walk around in them. Once again I had a lot of clearing up to do after allowing my kids to embrace anarchy. I think it’s good for them though it may be bad for me. The kitchen table was stained with blackberry juice, but I quite like the fact that it bears the scars and traces of past fun times - there are splodges of paint and dubious marks all over the thing. Maybe when the kids have packed up and left we’ll look back at that table as a messy history of half forgotten times.
I also did three dog walks today. The final one with a bit of stone clearing (podcast out on Monday) with the excitement of some of the field being churned up by a tractor or something, revealing a rich bounty of new stones. Plus I address the rumours about me that have been circulating around the stone clearing message boards.
I was pretty exhausted by bed time with the running up hills and running around after my kids. But I’d eaten some nice crumble and had the calories in hand to do so and it was nice to just pass out at the end of the day. I am looking forward to being dead though, so I can finally get some rest.
