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Ah the beauty of summer in the countryside. This morning my food bin went out for collection, some of its contents having rested in it for a fortnight due to our holiday and maggots were spilling out on to the pathway.
The house is so hot that we have had to open windows and so there are flies all over the place. Presumably some of them hatched out of maggots laid in our own food waste. It’s the circle of filth.
At least in London the pollution and poison meant that no insect could live more than a couple of hours. Here in the fresh air they thrive and my day is spent following them around, waiting for the to land and then squirting them with Dettol spray because I haven’t got any fly killer. I don’t think either death is particularly enjoyable (and as soon as they are felled I put them out of their misery) but to think I dared critique the wasp killer man for his pride in using nerve gas versus wasps when I use such a brutal method of execution. The flies defeat me though. But the joke’s on them because there’s so much spray over the kitchen that I have effectively done housework and there is no longer any detritus for them to sit and shit on.
I wonder if my wife had just released flies into the house in order to trick me into cleaning. Clever.
The truth is I do as much if not more cleaning than my wife, but the truth does not make for good comedy and so I will propagate the stereotype for the sake of a cheap laugh.
I am sorry.
A thrilling return to classic Me1 vs Me2 Snooker tonight with frame 103. It has been released as
an audio podcast as God intended, but was also broadcast live on Twitch.
You can view it here though it loses something by being seen, so I’d go for the podcast if I was you.
It also features a rare photo of Me1 and Me2 together, captured by brilliant photographer Steve Brown.
