5493/18413
We awoke to a Christmas wonderland and the village under a thick carpet of snow. Phoebe was excited. I was preparing to drive the five miles to take her to her football lesson and slightly worried that my wife, who had gone to see friends in Norwich might not make it home. This is one of the disadvantages/advantages of living in a village: when it snows, you are stuck.
When I went to clear the snow off my car and saw the extent of the icy carnage I decided to skive off football and do what any father should do and take my daughter out to make a snowman. Which was a good decision, as the road into town was apparently blocked by fallen trees (and the forest has already done enough damage) and I got a late text telling me football had been cancelled anyway.
It’s been a while since I attempted to make a snowman (though I have drawn a lot of them with their cocks out in the past few weeks) and I was surprised by how effectively the ball of snow I was rolling picked up everything in its path, including leaves and sticks, though hopefully not dog poo (I avoided the bit of the garden where Wolfie likes to go).
Given the small size of our patch of grass I was pretty impressed with the result, even if it does look a bit like a deformed bird. I got a carrot out of the fridge and chopped up a piece of coal with an axe and pulled some twigs off our apple tree. Imagine this thing coming to life at night and flying off with you. I don’t know where it would take you, but I don’t think it would be anywhere nice.
Phoebe seemed impervious to the cold. We went out to a nearby field in the afternoon and I made another, even more terrifying snowman. She tried to do the same, but does not quite have the strength and her snowballs kept falling apart (occupational hazard for the snowman) and she groaned in frustration. But she has staying power and kept trying again and again like a chilly Robert the Bruce. I was starting to turn into a snowman myself and had to carry her kicking and screaming back inside.
But we had a mini snow ball fight too and confused a passing dog by throwing it a snowball that disappeared on landing.
I have many happy and horrific memories of snowy days in Cheddar back in the 1970s, mainly ending in me being pummelled with snow balls or on the edge of frostbite after getting lost on the Mendips in six feet snow drifts. But the horror is part of what makes the memories. Maybe I should have let my child get frozen into an icicle too.
Luckily my wife made it home in one piece.
And there’s a chance to buy some of the iconic AIOTM props and extra special versions of both Emergency Questions books as
part of a new eBay auction.
There’s the world’s only professionally produced kniforkoon, Aberham Lincoln’s amazing hat (I am amazed that anyone can look at any of the other items with that on display) and most terrifyingly of all Gemma the Toaster Robot’s head. Imagine opening a box containing that on Christmas morning. Especially if you had no idea what AIOTM was. All proceeds will go into the pot and start paying for series 13 of RHLSTP.
You can help the podcasts and (almost certainly) not lose any money, by putting in some early bids to boost the prices.
