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Thursday 1st January 2004

My party went on until after seven in the morning (I'm crazy!!!), so maybe Chrissie Hynde should have hung around at what was clearly the best New Year's do in the world.
Consequently my resolution to stop drinking for a while (at least a month, maybe til after- or possibly during- the London Marathon) did not come into force until around about 6.30am. In previous years I have stopped drinking at midnight, which is not only pedantic and annoying, it is also a pretty good way to ensure that I don't have much fun.
So although I have technically immediately broken my resolution, I have at least upheld one of my others which is not to be such a stuffy, nit-picking, paranoid obsessive. If I succeed in that it will make my life much more relaxed, but probably also result in Warming Up becoming a lot less entertaining. So if you love me as a person you will hope I succeed, but if you see me as some kind of dancing monkey, only put on this earth to give you a few moments of fleeting enjoyment at my own expense you will be willing me to fail. I think I know you well enough to know which side you will be barracking for.
Hopefully I will also be escaping from the state of stasis that I have been in for the past few months. I am keen to get back to work, to get myself organised and to accomplish the tasks that I have been putting off for weeks.
When I woke up this evening I was a bit too fragile to do anything too constructive, but I thought I should do something, just to get the ball rolling.
I looked around my bedroom and noticed the step-ladder that has been leaning against my wall since (I think) October. I brought it up from the cellar to change a light bulb, but had been too lazy to take it back down again. I've been meaning to - it seems incongruous, and possibly somehow perverted, to have a step-ladder in your bedroom - it just always seemed there was something else that I could not be doing instead.
I decided that that would be my task to accomplish in the next few hours of the day. It would not be much, just a symbol of my willingness to change and improve myself.... But, you know, there was no rush.
Disappointingly for me (but luckily for those of you who see me as a frolicking simian), I just never got round to it. There was takeaway pizza to eat and an unbelievably bad and unfunny Mel Gibson film to watch and by the time I got back to bed, going back downstairs with a step-ladder seemed to be a bit too much of an effort. "I'll start my new year tomorrow," I thought (which seemed reasonable given how many new years I've had recently, but was slightly flawed in its logic given that it was 1.40am and thus technically tomorrow already. Without being pedantic).
Then I noticed I was absent-mindedly drinking from the biggest glass of beer that there has ever been. Damn, I had forgot. There is no point in trying to change ourselves. We will always be idiots.

I didn't really drink any beer and I'm going to go and move that step-ladder straight away. No-one can say that 2004 hasn't been productive for me.



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